Trump Releases His Own Brand Of Vaccine; Millions Die Of Snake Oil Poisoning

Former president Donald Trump announced his “own brand” of vaccine today that was immediately rejected by the scientific community after being identified as literal snake oil. Despite what experts are saying, millions of Republicans have lined up to take the shot.

Trump, who branded his vaccine as “SNAKE OIL” in all capitals, says he isn’t concerned about any potential negative outcomes.

“I could stab someone with fourteen syringes of SNAKE OIL in the middle of Fifth Avenue and no one would stop me, no one would arrest me,” Trump stated. “Not even as their body convulsed on the ground – blood gurgling from their mouth while I eat a Big Mac and laugh above their pathetic, patriotic body.”

Experts explained what they found in the so-called vaccine.

“What he’s done here, is the former president has mixed snake-derived oil and venom into a thick liquid that first numbs the body, and then puts the victim into toxic shock. Like the tampon thing,” epidemiologist Warren Brookings stated. “And after that, you die.”

Notably, according to one advertisement for the deadly vaccine, ‘SNAKE OIL’ stands for:

Kinds of

Of course

As of press time millions had died from the fake vaccine.

When Trump was asked if he had any blood on his hands he replied that authorities were “more than welcome to search his hands,” but that it would likely “take days because they are so big and so beautiful.”

Photo credit Michael Vadon

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