Galaxy Note 10 Can Project Its Screen Onto Nearby Faces So You Can Pretend You’re Paying Attention to People

YouReadyGrandma

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U.S. Stops Development of Genetically-Modified, Cybernetic Babies

YouReadyGrandma

An executive order from the desk of President Trump has put an end to genetically-modified, cyborg baby programs.

The Science of The Butt Dial: How Your Booty Calls People Without You Knowing

YouReadyGrandma

“Contrary to popular belief, fingerlike appendages do not exit the butt and press on the phone screen, that’s poop you’re thinking of.”

Walmart Implants Elderly Greeters With Robotic Parts

YouReadyGrandma

“The geriatric cyborgs have two convenient USB ports allowing customers to charge their phones,” Walmart CEO Doug McMillon stated.

Harvard Study Reveals that All Homophobic Men are Gay

“This lengthy, intricate study was conducted by the folks at the Harvard Center for Brain Science and incorporated proven Penis Responsiveness Technology (PRT) and Brainwave Function Reading (BFR) from leading scientists from the Biomimetic Robotics Lab at MIT.”

Samsung Announces its Cheaper, Single-Use Galaxy 1-Fold

YouReadyGrandma

“This bendable phone comes with all of the same features as the Galaxy Fold, but the device can only be folded in half one time,” Samsung CEO Kim Suk stated.

Mars Rover Found Dead From Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.”

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