Congress Passes Resolution to Completely Ignore Middle East

“The $85 billion we save a year will go toward green energy, education, infrastructure and ending homelessness in America.”

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Americans Shatter Book-Burning Record on Read Across America Day

“In retrospect, I picked the wrong book to read to them.” Louisiana Governor John Edwards stated. “I chose Seuss’ first published work The Pocket Book of Boners and by the time I finished reading the title all hell had broken loose.”