Alabama Governor Kay Ivey signed a bill into law today that will place any public school teachers who teach students about slavery into involuntary servitude programs. “There is not place for discussing slavery in Alabama schools. The past is in … Continue reading New Alabama Law Sentences Teachers Who Talk About Slavery To Involuntary Servitude
Florida governor Ron DeSantis held a press conference today in which he announced a new bill called the ‘W.O.K.E Act’ – or Whites Organizing for KKKonservative Education. The governor said that he was taking a stand against critical race theory … Continue reading DeSantis Announces ‘Whites Organizing For KKKonservative Education’ – Or ‘W.O.K.E. Act’
Representative Matt Krause (R-TX) has compiled a list of 850 books that he wants to ban in schools. Krause says the books in question “might make students feel discomfort, guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress because of … Continue reading TX Republican To Ban 850 Books That ‘Could Make Students Feel Uneasy’
Unwilling to learn current social etiquette – and despite the fact that black coffee is widely considered the most “manly” way to take your caffeine – the conservative and veteran-run Black Rifle Coffee Company is still too confused and frightened … Continue reading Confused, Conservative-Run Coffee Chain Too Scared To Serve Black Coffee
The White House announced the release of Donald Trump’s new, pre-election book titled My Struggle today, prompting the country of Germany to ban the paperback instantly. White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany said that, despite strong pushback, the book will … Continue reading Trump’s New Book ‘My Struggle’ Already Banned in Germany
Despite being almost completely engulfed in flames, the states of California, Washington, and Oregon were still ranked by US News & World Report today as being “decidedly better to live in” than all of the southern states. “With more than … Continue reading Now 90% on Fire, Entire US West Coast Still Ranked Better to Live in Than The South
A visibly frustrated and bewildered Joe Biden asked a group of reporters today – out loud – if he was losing his mind, questioning “Am I fucking crazy? Shouldn’t I be winning by, like, a lot?” “I feel like I’m … Continue reading Biden Questions Own Mental Health: ‘Am I Crazy? Shouldn’t I Be Winning By, Like, A Lot?’
A recent study published by Princeton reveals that approximately 31% of Americans are not smart enough to understand how a virus spreads, why they should be wearing masks, or how their reckless behavior is forcing states to re-close businesses. “Not … Continue reading Study: 1 in 3 Americans Too Stupid to Help Fight Pandemic
Mike Pence argued today that opening schools amidst the coronavirus pandemic is acceptable because “COVID-19 will still kill less children than school shootings this year, and we don’t do anything to prevent those.” “If you’re scared about your child getting … Continue reading Pence Reassures: ‘More Students Will Die From School Shootings Than COVID’
Experts at the World Health Organization (WHO) released a pointed statement today revealing that they hope to open all Americans up to COVID-19 facts and teach them basic reasoning skills by early June – with the end goal being to … Continue reading Experts Say They Hope to Open America Up to Facts, Reason By Early June
“The $85 billion we save a year will go toward green energy, education, infrastructure and ending homelessness in America.” Continue reading Congress Passes Resolution to Completely Ignore Middle East
Devout Christians Robert and Denise Ferraro of Naperville, Illinois say that they began forgetting that Christ had anything to do with Christmas when their 10-year-old daughter Cindy came home from public school last December and told them that she had… Continue reading Christians are having a really fucking hard time keeping Christ in Christmas
Joe Biden announced his plan at the Democratic Debate last night to enhance learning opportunities for underprivileged children. The former vice president says, if elected, he’ll be providing everyone with a free gramophone and educational vinyl records that explain why … Continue reading Joe Biden: “When I’m elected everyone will get a free gramophone!”
“At this point teachers must be making, what? $125 thousand a year and they won’t stop complaining?” DeVos stated. “We have to push back against these union thugs who are always striking.” Continue reading Betsy DeVos Removes ‘Appreciation’ From National Teacher Appreciation Day
“In retrospect, I picked the wrong book to read to them.” Louisiana Governor John Edwards stated. “I chose Seuss’ first published work The Pocket Book of Boners and by the time I finished reading the title all hell had broken loose.” Continue reading Americans Shatter Book-Burning Record on Read Across America Day
The polls showed a likely win for her, but the results did not reflect that; whatsoever. Now we have a fail-safe and proven reason as to why he managed to become the next President of the United States of America. Continue reading Princeton Study: How Trump Defeated Clinton, Why the Polls Were Wrong
