Reports say McConnell injured himself while he was aggressively fucking the country.
“It’s our time now! The dawning of the age of the Reptilians is upon us!” – Mitch McConnell
McConnell is being investigated by the US. Senate Ethics Committee for spending $127,000 on a new heat lamp system and gigantic basking rocks in his office.
“Let’s just admit it, Mitch is such a basic bitch name.” – Senator Bitch McConnell