The New Apple Pro Display XDR Comes in 127 Parts, Each Sold Separately

YouReadyGrandma

“In one of the 127 boxes customers will find a serial number,” Cook stated. “That is the number they will enter online; unlocking the ability to purchase the instruction manual for putting the device together.”

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Apple Releases iPhone Rotary with Real Crank-Dialing and Switchboard Operators

YouReadyGrandma

“Apple fans will buy it because they are, without a doubt, the biggest consumer whores on the planet,” CEO Tim Cook stated.

Tim Cook Swallows an Entire iPhone XS Max to Prove It’s Environmentally Friendly

YouReadyGrandma

“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that,” Siri apologized as a wide-eyed Cook choked on a chunk of the XS Max.

FaceTime Bug Causes Small Wormholes to Appear & Suck Up iPhones, Nearby Objects

YouReadyGrandma

“Simply put, Apple has accidentally created a shortcut through spacetime.”