Humans Determined to Survive Coronavirus So They Can See Climate Change Decimate the Planet in 2035

YouReadyGrandma

A large majority of humans on planet Earth say they have every intention of surviving the coronavirus to ensure that they get front row seats to the end of the world; which will be brought on by climate change sometime around 2035. What do you think? Photo credit Kevin Rheese Advertisements

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Conservatives identify Greta Thunberg as first known case of white privilege

YouReadyGrandma

After being named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, conservatives everywhere are calling Greta Thunberg’s success the first known case of white privilege. The 16-year old Sweed with Asperger’s has been a leading voice in climate change activism. “This is the first instance of white privilege and Miss Thunberg is patient zero,” Senator Mitch McConnell stated. “This rich, straight, white teenager is sailing the world, skipping school, and still somehow complaining about everything and anything. She must be stopped.” Conservatives say their main concern is figuring out how Thunberg’s actions are benefiting her. “It’s alarming that anyone’s skin color or wealth could give them an advantage,” McConnell stated. “But what’s more troubling is not knowing why she’s doing it. Does she own a wind farm?”

Greenpeace Tells Americans: “Wipe Your Butts With Your Hands”

YouReadyGrandma

“Who cares if you can’t wash the smell off, you’ve saved an orangutan!”

Tim Cook Swallows an Entire iPhone XS Max to Prove It’s Environmentally Friendly

YouReadyGrandma

“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that,” Siri apologized as a wide-eyed Cook choked on a chunk of the XS Max.

Disgusting Lactose Intolerant People Emit the Same Amount of Methane as Dairy Cows

YouReadyGrandma

“I can tell you how the world ends right now. We fart ourselves to death.” – Stanford Professor Böse Blahung

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