The corpse of Jeffrey Epstein was found hanging from a tree outside his mausoleum in Loxahatchee, Florida tonight. Authorities say two night watchmen skipped one of their rounds, and that’s when Epstein killed himself. Again. “What’s clear is that we … Continue reading Jeffrey Epstein Found Dead (Again) Outside Mausoleum After Security Lapse
The White House announced the release of Donald Trump’s new book titled My Struggle today, prompting the country of Germany to ban the paperback instantly. White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said that, despite strong pushback, the book will be … Continue reading Trump’s New Book ‘My Struggle’ Already Banned in Germany
Cardi B’s latest release, “WFP” (Wet Front Pussy), has fans in stitches — and shock — as it unveils the real story behind her iconic hit “WAP.” Apparently, “WAP” wasn’t about what we thought. Instead, it was Cardi’s unfiltered take … Continue reading Cardi B’s New Song “WFP” (Wet Front Pussy) Reveals WAP Was About Her Sweaty Butthole All Along
(And Maybe Even Become Your New Breast Friend!) Zoom has partnered with Pornhub to release a new feature aimed at helping citizens in Florida, Arkansas, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Texas, Utah, and Virginia … Continue reading New Zoom Feature Bypasses Porn ID Law: Screen-Sharing Samaritans Will Help You Get Off
California has forced churches to start repainting statues of Jesus in which the religious figure is depicted with white skin. The move comes after a large group of leftist historians pointed out that Jesus couldn’t have possibly been white and … Continue reading California Law Forces Churches to Paint Statues of White Jesus With Blackface Due to Historical & Racial Inaccuracies
🥂🍻🥃🍷 I BET AT LEAST 10%-15% of the 🇺🇸 U.S. is ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL 🍾🍺🍶 THERE’S AT LEAST 7 EMOJIS FOR IT 🤣😿 😈🥬💨 It’s FAR worse than the devil’s lettuce. Nobody talks about it, yet it’s everywhere—on TV, in … Continue reading I BET AT LEAST 10%-15% of the 🇺🇸 U.S. is ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL
Melania Trump says she cried uncontrollably Thursday night after she read all 157 pages of her prenuptial agreement and realized that she will ever have to visit Donald once he goes to prison. When reached for comment, the former first … Continue reading Melania Trump Cries Tears Of Joy After Learning Prenup Doesn’t Require Prison Visits
Caitlyn Jenner found out today that she is not allowed to use the men’s or women’s restrooms at Fox News. Instead, Jenner was told by executives at her new place of work to leave the building and go use the … Continue reading Fox News Forces Caitlyn Jenner To Use A Bathroom At The Pizzeria Across The Street
Aaron Rodgers has become the highest-paid NFL player ever after signing a 4-year, $200 million deal with the Green Bay Packers, but the 38-year-old quarterback is now telling the press that the team will have to pay him more if … Continue reading Aaron Rodgers Says $200 Million Deal Only Covers Regular Season: ‘Pay Me More For Playoff Wins’
Former NFL superstar OJ Simpson and singer-songwriter Chris Brown both spoke out in defense of Kanye West today. The two celebrities say that Kanye is being treated very unfairly. “Just because you repeatedly harass someone over and over again, or … Continue reading OJ Simpson & Chris Brown Say They ‘See No Warning Signs’ With Kanye West’s Recent Behavior
“We banned him for a reason, so we’re not letting that piece of shit back on here in any way, shape or form.” Continue reading Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat & Pinterest Ban All Content From Trump’s Truth Social On Their Platforms
Kanye West revealed today that his upcoming album Donda 2 will be released in an all-new file format that Ye says he himself invented. “It’s called ‘.K-I-M’ and you spell it out when you say it,” Kanye stated. “Don’t call … Continue reading Donda 2 Will Be In New File Format ‘.KIM’ That Can Only Be Read By Kanye’s Stem Device
Former president Donald Trump told reporters today that his soon-to-be released social media platform – Truth Social – is currently in beta testing and will be available to “real Americans” very soon. In the same statement, Trump also called Truth … Continue reading Unaware Of Failed Apps Parler, Gettr, Gab, Telegram, Minds & Rumble, Trump Calls Truth Social ‘First Of Its Kind’
Ukrainian bobsledder Hilda Lunko set the world record for slowest bobsled run in the Olympics this past week after she accidentally took her grandmother’s performance destabilizing drugs shortly before the race. Lunko, who was the first Ukrainian female bobsledder to … Continue reading Olympian Who Accidentally Took Grandmother’s Medication Sets World Record For Slowest Bobsled Run
The company formerly known as Facebook has filed a lawsuit against Donald Trump’s new social media company Truth Social. Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg says that he decided to take action against Trump when he saw the similarities between his ‘poke’ … Continue reading Meta Sues Trump’s Social Media Company For Ripping Off ‘Poke’ Feature With ‘Grope’ Button
The vast majority of Cincinnati Bengals fans are convinced that the NFL rigged yesterday’s Super Bowl – allowing the Los Angeles Rams to win the game in the final minutes. Angry fans are pointing to inconsistencies in penalties both called, … Continue reading Bengals: ‘We Scored Due To A Missed Face Mask Penalty So Why Can’t We Also Foul The Rams On Defense!?’
After spending most of his Sunday morning trashing Pete Davidson on his Instagram account, Kanye West admitted that he was responsible for an airplane that was seen flying toward the Super Bowl with a “Fuck Pete Davidson” banner. Authorities say … Continue reading Kanye West’s Plane With ‘Fuck Pete Davidson’ Banner Diverted From Super Bowl Airspace
