WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move critics are calling “a confession in legislative form,” Donald Trump signed an executive order today lowering the federal age of consent to 10 years old. The decree retroactively changes the law beginning in 1946 … Continue reading Trump Signs Executive Order Retroactively Lowering Age of Consent to 10
Republicans voted today to block the release of the Epstein files after years of promising to expose an enormous ring of elite pedophiles. Party leaders say it was a “timing issue.” “We would have totally voted to expose and prosecute … Continue reading Republicans Block Epstein Files Release: ‘It Wouldn’t Be Fair to Pedophiles Who Already Bribed Us’
The corpse of Jeffrey Epstein was found hanging from a tree outside his mausoleum in Loxahatchee, Florida tonight. Authorities say two night watchmen skipped one of their rounds, and that’s when Epstein killed himself. Again. “What’s clear is that we … Continue reading Jeffrey Epstein Found Dead (Again) Outside Mausoleum After Security Lapse
2 in 3 ICE Hires Came From Targeted Ads on Dating Apps for Men With Zero Matches Lynchburg, Virginia — A new study released by Liberty University reveals that over 80% of Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents chose the … Continue reading Study Finds 83% of ICE Agents Took the Job Because Raids Are the Only Time They Get to Touch Women
In a shocking twist that left both political analysts and the LGBTQIA community stunned, President Donald Trump held a press conference today to strongly oppose Florida’s controversial HB-1776, a proposed bill that would prohibit those assigned male at birth from … Continue reading Trump Opposes FL Bill Banning Men From Wearing Makeup, Unveils Own Cosmetics Line
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After years of pearl-clutching over pronouns and endless legislation aimed at banning “woke ideology,” Republicans have finally admitted the truth: none of it was ever about protecting “traditional values.” It was about one thing and one thing … Continue reading GOP Admits Pronoun Debate Was Just to Get Lindsey Graham to Stop Saying “She Crazy!” About Trump & Referring to Marjorie Taylor Greene as “He”
Fox’s upcoming season of The Masked Singer is losing its mystery and its fans as yet another contestant has been revealed. Actor and comedian Ken Jeong spilled the beans to TMZ about Bill Cosby being on the show after Jeong … Continue reading Bill Cosby Sang ‘Smooth Criminal’ While Dressed As A Mixed Drink On ‘The Masked Singer’
Joe Biden told reporters today in an afternoon press conference that his campaign is “so close to victory that he can sniff it” and that he “didn’t even have to creep up from behind this time.” Continue reading Biden: ‘We’re So Close to Victory I Can Sniff It’
Biden’s hair came from his soundproof hobby room where he keeps his personal collection of real hair, mannequins and doll parts. Continue reading Staff Forces Joe Biden to Get Hair Plugs So He’ll Stop Smelling Women’s Hair
