In a show of solidarity with president Trump, prominent Republican lawmakers made waves today when they took a knee during the national anthem. Republicans say they’re protesting the impeachment hearings in Washington DC because they are “un-American.” “When something so … Continue reading Republicans kneel in protest during National Anthem at impeachment hearings
Those on the left are being told to stay indoors after public officials warned of a second active Koch brother. “Although one threat has been neutralized, there’s still another bad man reeking havoc on the country,” Joe Biden stated. The … Continue reading Officials warn liberals that a 2nd active Koch Brother is still at large
Today marks the first time that Merriam-Webster has put an official photograph in their famous dictionary. Continue reading Webster’s Dictionary Adds Photo of Trump to the Definition of ‘Racist’
“It’s safe to say that most residents of the state of Mississippi have been vegetarian, or close to it, since 2009.” – Governor Phil Bryant Continue reading Mississippi Has Been Feeding Its Unsuspecting Residents Vegan, Plant-Based Protein Since 2009
Grisham is scheduled to take a crowbar to the face later today in an attempt to make her eye situation match that of Sanders. Continue reading Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham Masters Resting Bitch Face Just in Time to Replace Sarah Sanders
McConnell is being investigated by the US. Senate Ethics Committee for spending $127,000 on a new heat lamp system and gigantic basking rocks in his office. Continue reading Mitch McConnell Caught Using Taxpayer Money To Remodel His Terrarium
Republicans now agree that the President has committed an impeachable offense. Continue reading Trump Is Being Impeached For Tweeting About “The Greatest Blowjob Ever” From Sarah Sanders
“I’m running because I have a very particular set of skills,” the 7-foot tall former FBI Director bellowed. “Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you, Mr. Trump.” Continue reading Robert Mueller Announces Presidential Bid to Take Down Trump
The group stands out by wearing white clothing, often with pointed hoods to keep their bald heads warm. Continue reading Mr. Clean Cosplayers Host Bonfire Party in Dayton, Ohio
“We know it is hard for Mr. McConnell to have to abort the bill right here on the Senate floor, but Democrats are truly supportive of the decision.” Continue reading Republican Bill Blocking Funding for Planned Parenthood Aborted on US Senate Floor
Authorities have confirmed that Y’all-Qaeda leadership has ties to a Mississippi terror cell referred to as Talabangelicals who are also complete [expletive].
Continue reading Radical Religious Group “Y’all-Qaeda” Bans Abortion in Alabama
“When I think of something, you better believe I’m going to go right up to him, get right on Peter and really ride him. Just unload on him with everything I’ve got – and I’ve got a lot. Just ask Melania. I’ve been trying to finish for quite a while, and when I do it’s going to feel great folks. Just great.” Continue reading Trump Explains Why He Hasn’t Made a Homophobic Nickname For Pete Buttigieg, Yet
Cohen poured 14 gallons of gasoline, began playing ‘Spark the Fire’ by Gwen Stefani, and lit the contents of the dumpster before biting the heads off several chickens. Continue reading Steve Cohen Sparks Massive Dumpster Fire on House Floor, Bites Heads Off of Live Chickens
The former FBI Director enrolled in a pottery class Anderson Cooper attends in an attempt to get him to sit in between his legs while whispering key findings in his ear. Continue reading Trapped & Furious: Dead Robert Mueller Can’t Cross Over to Spirit Realm Until Barr Releases Full Report
“None of them seemed phased by Carlson. It was like the [expletive] Twilight Zone.”
Continue reading Tucker Carlson Forgets to Remove Klan Robe, Walks On to Set of Fox & Friends
“You won’t hear about this, but I burned down the Notre Dame Cathedral,” Beck confirmed live on Fox & Friends. “This was France’s 9/11 and if I weren’t there to see it firsthand, you’d never know it was me: Glenn Beck, a casual, disposable, everyday Islamic terrorist.” Continue reading Glenn Beck Converts to Islam, Burns Down Notre Dame Cathedral
Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans. Continue reading Eric Trump is Currently Locked in a Room That’s Being Pumped Full of Pollution
