Pope Francis Demands Every Dirty Detail on Sexual Abuse for His Adult Fantasy Novel
Pope Francis’ adult book is entitled ‘The Divinci Load.’ Continue reading Pope Francis Demands Every Dirty Detail on Sexual Abuse for His Adult Fantasy Novel
Category: Sexuality
MLB Highlights “The Raw Sexual Tension of Baseball” on Opening Day
“Most of the leathery, ball-related action on the field actually takes place in the players’ jockstraps,” Commissioner Rob Manfred stated. Continue reading MLB Highlights “The Raw Sexual Tension of Baseball” on Opening Day
Elon Musk & The Rock Are Costarring in an Adult Film
“I pulled all of my investments in Elon’s companies halfway into the movie because I was certain he had been [expletive] to death.” Continue reading Elon Musk & The Rock Are Costarring in an Adult Film
Oblivious Mike Pence Wears Furry Tail to CPAC
An attempt to clue the Vice President in using his teleprompter backfired; resulting in Pence aggressively shouting “There’s a tail sticking out of your ass” in the middle of an impassioned speech on moral decay in America. Continue reading Oblivious Mike Pence Wears Furry Tail to CPAC
Patriots Owner Caught in Massive Cheese-Fetish Pornography Ring
“I permanently cut cheese out of my diet,” police officer Damien Stephens stated. “If you’ve never seen a ‘Kraft Singles Cheese Queef Shower,’ I recommend that you keep it that way.” Continue reading Patriots Owner Caught in Massive Cheese-Fetish Pornography Ring
Mars Rover Found Dead From Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation
“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.” Continue reading Mars Rover Found Dead From Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation
Democrats Are Lobbying Melania Trump to Have Sex With the President
Democrats are trying to persuade Melania Trump to bring the president to mindblowing climax. Continue reading Democrats Are Lobbying Melania Trump to Have Sex With the President
A Face-Licking Epidemic is Freaking Out Floridians
“Oakley’s actions have thrown open the closet doors for individuals who are aroused by licking things to claim them as their own,” Continue reading A Face-Licking Epidemic is Freaking Out Floridians
Democrats Will be Testing Trump’s Grasp of Object Permanence Tonight by Bringing Real People to The State of The Union Address
“Now, when I place Sajid in a crouching position behind me I’ll look for a confused expression on the president’s face. Soon thereafter – and here’s where it gets interesting – Sajid will pop out from behind me and…” Continue reading Democrats Will be Testing Trump’s Grasp of Object Permanence Tonight by Bringing Real People to The State of The Union Address
Awful Commercial Angers Men, Causes Hipsters to Shave Beards
Gillette says they intend to replace the marketing team with all female, yet conservative employees “so both sides shut up.” Continue reading Awful Commercial Angers Men, Causes Hipsters to Shave Beards
Louisiana Governor Proposes 24-Hour Paid Maternity Leave
“We’re giving new mothers 24 hours off, 8 of which will be paid. That leaves plenty of time for doing Kegels.” Continue reading Louisiana Governor Proposes 24-Hour Paid Maternity Leave
Desperate, Unpaid Government Employees Shift to Sex Work, Drug Trafficking
“Handies start at $18 and prices go up from there.” Continue reading Desperate, Unpaid Government Employees Shift to Sex Work, Drug Trafficking
4 in 5 Men Think Masturbating With Another Man ‘Isn’t Gay’
A poll of 565 men has found that 82% did not believe mutual masturbation to be a homosexual act, with respondents expressing a sentiment that touching cock isn’t gay, but lips touching lips is gay – meaning that emotional intimacy … Continue reading 4 in 5 Men Think Masturbating With Another Man ‘Isn’t Gay’
Banned Bump Stocks Will Be Recycled as Sex Toys, Justice Department Says
“We do strongly prefer that they be handed over as they’ll be repurposed as thrusting devices in sex toys.” Continue reading Banned Bump Stocks Will Be Recycled as Sex Toys, Justice Department Says
Mueller: Gay Tryst, Pee Tape Emerged From Investigation
Trump starts gagging and declares that ‘the golden juice went down the wrong pipe!’ Continue reading Mueller: Gay Tryst, Pee Tape Emerged From Investigation
Subaru Openly Markets Car Finish for Lesbians
Previously Subaru had used coded marketing tactics to reach lesbians. Continue reading Subaru Openly Markets Car Finish for Lesbians
Guys: Here’s Why You Should Let Her Put Stuff in Your Booty
“It’s not like we’re asking them to carry our purses up there – although that would be ideal and hopefully it leads to that.” Continue reading Guys: Here’s Why You Should Let Her Put Stuff in Your Booty
Kavanaugh Avoids Sex Scandal by Becoming Ordained Priest Overnight
“He’s found a loophole here and it’s simply stunning.” – Rudy Giuliani Continue reading Kavanaugh Avoids Sex Scandal by Becoming Ordained Priest Overnight