President Trump signed an Executive Order today that bans all people who used the Snapchat gender-swap filter from serving in the US military.

“We can’t have men who look like women being sexual distractions to other men who also look like women,” a rambling, coked-out Trump stated. “Believe me it happened to me in Taiwan. Not good folks. Not good.”

The ban is estimated to block 82.6 million US citizens from service and dishonorably discharge another 1.7 million Americans from the military.

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