GOP Admits Pronoun Debate Was Just to Get Lindsey Graham to Stop Saying “She Crazy!” About Trump & Referring to Marjorie Taylor Greene as “He”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After years of pearl-clutching over pronouns and endless legislation aimed at banning “woke ideology,” Republicans have finally admitted the truth: none of it was ever about protecting “traditional values.” It was about one thing and one thing … Continue reading GOP Admits Pronoun Debate Was Just to Get Lindsey Graham to Stop Saying “She Crazy!” About Trump & Referring to Marjorie Taylor Greene as “He”

Dating Apps, DMs Flooded With Hand Pics After Science Confirms Strong Correlation Between Finger Length & Penis Size

In a discovery that has completely reshaped online dating culture (and dramatically reduced unsolicited dick pics), scientists have revealed a simple test that may hint at a man’s… proportions. A study found that men with mismatched length index and ring fingers … Continue reading Dating Apps, DMs Flooded With Hand Pics After Science Confirms Strong Correlation Between Finger Length & Penis Size

Tesla Update ENDS Autopilot, Lets Musk Livestream Drivers Via Hidden DashCam: ‘I’ve Been Watching The Whole Time’

Austin, TX — In a move that feels straight out of Black Mirror, Tesla announced it is rolling out an over-the-air update that not only disables Autopilot in areas where it’s not legally approved but also reveals a shocking secret: … Continue reading Tesla Update ENDS Autopilot, Lets Musk Livestream Drivers Via Hidden DashCam: ‘I’ve Been Watching The Whole Time’

Taylor Swift Tells Swifties “Stand Back & Stand By” After Trump Survives 13 Assassination Attempts in 24 Hours

Donald Trump claims to have narrowly survived 13 assassination attempts within 24 hours at the hands of Taylor Swift fans. The chaos began several hours after Trump posted, “I hate Taylor Swift,” on social media, igniting a firestorm online that … Continue reading Taylor Swift Tells Swifties “Stand Back & Stand By” After Trump Survives 13 Assassination Attempts in 24 Hours

Mark Zuckerberg Banned & Fired From Facebook For Post After His Own AI Takes Over Company

The newly-ousted former head of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg told reporters through teary eyes today that he had likely been permanently banned from his own social media platform and company. Zuckerberg, who stole the Facebook platform back in January of 2004, … Continue reading Mark Zuckerberg Banned & Fired From Facebook For Post After His Own AI Takes Over Company

New Twitter Update Will Add An Animated Bird That Suggests Slurs & Insults To Spice Up Your Tweets

Elon Musk announced today that the remaining 17 employees at Twitter have been working day and night to finish a software update that will help users to insult other people on the platform with more creativity. “It’s kind of like … Continue reading New Twitter Update Will Add An Animated Bird That Suggests Slurs & Insults To Spice Up Your Tweets

Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat & Pinterest Ban All Content From Trump’s Truth Social On Their Platforms

“We banned him for a reason, so we’re not letting that piece of shit back on here in any way, shape or form.” Continue reading Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat & Pinterest Ban All Content From Trump’s Truth Social On Their Platforms

Unaware Of Failed Apps Parler, Gettr, Gab, Telegram, Minds & Rumble, Trump Calls Truth Social ‘First Of Its Kind’

Former president Donald Trump told reporters today that his soon-to-be released social media platform – Truth Social – is currently in beta testing and will be available to “real Americans” very soon. In the same statement, Trump also called Truth … Continue reading Unaware Of Failed Apps Parler, Gettr, Gab, Telegram, Minds & Rumble, Trump Calls Truth Social ‘First Of Its Kind’

Meta Sues Trump’s Social Media Company For Ripping Off ‘Poke’ Feature With ‘Grope’ Button

The company formerly known as Facebook has filed a lawsuit against Donald Trump’s new social media company Truth Social. Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg says that he decided to take action against Trump when he saw the similarities between his ‘poke’ … Continue reading Meta Sues Trump’s Social Media Company For Ripping Off ‘Poke’ Feature With ‘Grope’ Button

Facebook To Change Their Name To ‘Company’ – Making It Hard To Google Bad News About Them

Leaked documents from Facebook headquarters reveal that the corporation will be officially changing its name to “Company” next Thursday. Many people are pointing out that the name change will make it nearly impossible to search for news about the company … Continue reading Facebook To Change Their Name To ‘Company’ – Making It Hard To Google Bad News About Them

‘Instagram Kids’ Cancelled After Matt Gaetz Obtains Beta Testing Profile

Facebook announced today that the company will be halting its creation of the new ‘Instagram Kids’ platform after discovering that Florida representative Matt Gaetz – who is under investigation for sex trafficking and sex with a minor – had somehow … Continue reading ‘Instagram Kids’ Cancelled After Matt Gaetz Obtains Beta Testing Profile

Facebook Will Decide Whether Or Not To Reinstate Donald Trump Tomorrow Here's How Theyll Decide

Facebook Will Rule On Reinstatement Of Trump Tomorrow. Here’s How They’ll Decide

Facebook will make a controversial decision tomorrow: Will they reinstate former president Donald J. Trump, or permanently ban him from their platform? The social media giant initially banned Trump in January after he personally sparked a riot at the US … Continue reading Facebook Will Rule On Reinstatement Of Trump Tomorrow. Here’s How They’ll Decide

Trump Carrier Pigeons Twitter Ban

Trump Frantically Ties Hundreds of Handwritten ‘Tweets’ to Pigeons

Hundreds of pigeons bearing handwritten messages from Donald Trump were released from the White House today after Trump was banned from Twitter and nearly every other social media site. The president – who was annoyed by the birds flying around … Continue reading Trump Frantically Ties Hundreds of Handwritten ‘Tweets’ to Pigeons

Parler App Quickly Becomes #1 Racist Content Repository

Advertised as the answer to free speech suppression on social media, Parler has outpaced every other two-star rated app designed for people who want to share racist, sexist, and homophobic content without repercussions. Parler, which exists as a rejection of … Continue reading Parler App Quickly Becomes #1 Racist Content Repository

Social media government watch list started under trump

Breaking: New Trump Rules on Social Media Could Land You on a Government Watch List

With an early version of the president’s latest executive order having been shown to the press, reporters are now saying that Donald Trump plans to create “government watch lists” based on how users interact and behave on social media. Trump … Continue reading Breaking: New Trump Rules on Social Media Could Land You on a Government Watch List