The White House announced today that a new scaly friend – Nagini the presidential python – would now be living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. President Trump, who is openly averse to dogs, surprised the country with his pet choice. “Nagini … Continue reading First Family Welcomes Nagini the Presidential Python to the White House
“We sell the meat to Taco Bell, send a bunch of parts to candy factories and use the rest to make high-end huffing glue.” Continue reading What Happens to the 19 Dead Horses After the Kentucky Derby?
“Unless Redbox starts squeezing out moist, two-year-old prosciutto with every DVD, I have no idea how they’re going to compete with this.” Continue reading Weird Tech: Watch the Life Story of Animals as You Eat Them
“We wanted to name it something to do with the color blue, because the ocean is blue, even from space. In the end we settled on Whale Force and I think that’s just fine.” Continue reading US Announces ‘Whale Force’ Military Division
“We’re trying to attract more meat-eaters by selling a diverse selection of what we are pretty sure they like to eat,” Continue reading Tofurky Releases Trophy-Hunt Lion Steak, More Options