At his Easter press conference with reporters this morning, a mind blown president Trump shouted at reporters “I just learned that Jesus was brown or black! Did you know that? I just learned it today. […]
“I saw the whole thing. Very odd, very sad.” – Senator Bernie Sanders
“With McCain already tormenting Donald Trump by repeatedly moving and re-hiding the pee tape, we can only expect worse and worse episodes.”
“I’m running because I have a very particular set of skills,” the 7-foot tall former FBI Director bellowed. “Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you, Mr. Trump.”
“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated.
“The only sexual contact permitted in China for the foreseeable future will be homosexual in nature,” President Jinping stated while intertwining his fingers with NBA star Yao Ming.
Biden was leering at the frail, 85 year old Senator Dianne Feinstein when he uttered the phrase.