Inverted Cross on Trump’s Head a Sign of The Antichrist?

“Those familiar with the Bible will immediately know that this is The Mark of the Beast,” stated Carson while steepling his fingers and arching his eyebrows.


Leaders of Catholic Church Gather to Watch ‘Men in Black II’ & Build Memory-Erasing Machine


“The goal here is to analyze the memory-erasing technology used in the film and then build, disperse and use the devices in every congregation around the world,” Pope Francis stated.

Pope Francis Officially Moves Christmas 2019 to March


“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.”

Kavanaugh Avoids Sex Scandal by Becoming Ordained Priest Overnight


“He’s found a loophole here and it’s simply stunning.” – Rudy Giuliani

Pope Asks all Catholics to Pray Before Oral Intercourse

“We should always be looking up to God before going down to worship,” said Francis.

Pope Orders All ‘White Jesus’ Figures Removed from Churches


“Look people, this is ludicrous, Jesus was a white man,” said Kelly.

Pope Francis Will Allow Gay Priests to Marry

“Let’s fix this now and add some pizzazz and sparkle to the church.”- Pope Francis