2 in 3 ICE Hires Came From Targeted Ads on Dating Apps for Men With Zero Matches Lynchburg, Virginia — A new study released by Liberty University reveals that over 80% of Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents chose the … Continue reading Study Finds 83% of ICE Agents Took the Job Because Raids Are the Only Time They Get to Touch Women
In a discovery that has completely reshaped online dating culture (and dramatically reduced unsolicited dick pics), scientists have revealed a simple test that may hint at a man’s… proportions. A study found that men with mismatched length index and ring fingers … Continue reading Dating Apps, DMs Flooded With Hand Pics After Science Confirms Strong Correlation Between Finger Length & Penis Size
Brazil soccer enthusiast Pedro Silva says his Tinder profile was banned today after the dating app announced it would no longer allow soccer fans to have an account. Experts say that Silva is among the more than 3.4 billion people … Continue reading Tinder Bans All Soccer Fans For Seeking Slow, Boring Relationships With Little To No Scoring
Kanye West revealed today that his upcoming album Donda 2 will be released in an all-new file format that Ye says he himself invented. “It’s called ‘.K-I-M’ and you spell it out when you say it,” Kanye stated. “Don’t call … Continue reading Donda 2 Will Be In New File Format ‘.KIM’ That Can Only Be Read By Kanye’s Stem Device
The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) posted a tweet today telling American citizens to call a tip line to report any of their exes who buy or sell guns illegally. Part of the ATF’s tweet read, “Valentine’s … Continue reading ATF Valentine’s Tweet Tells Citizens To Report Their Exes If They Buy Or Sell Guns Illegally
President Trump put out a statement today in which he said he would be banning all dating apps with an executive order in the coming week. The move comes after experts found that random sexual encounters were fueling the pandemic. … Continue reading Trump to Ban Dating Apps as Fauci Calls For ‘Slut Shaming’ to Curb Pandemic
(Green Bay, WI) Local man Justin Loughty says he’s tired of being called a racist just because he hates minorities. Loughty says he’s being unfairly discriminated against his whole life and that he plans to start a group that will … Continue reading Man Who Hates Minorities Deeply Offended If You Call Him Racist
(Brookfield, WI) Local man Jeremy Walowitz says his first date with Amy Patel is going so well that he just might be getting an elbow job. “You have to be extra careful when dating during the coronavirus outbreak,” Walowitz stated. … Continue reading Date Going So Well, Man Just Might Get an Elbow Job
Presidential candidate and mayor of South Bend, Indiana Pete Buttigieg raised more than $23 million in the month of November by letting Grindr users pay to go on dates with him. The gay dating app, which tells users how far … Continue reading Pete Buttigieg raises over $19 million in November alone by going on paid Grindr dates
Many men have started calling unsolicited photos of their penises “surprise gender reveal parties” What do you think? Continue reading Is sending a dick pic the same thing as a gender reveal party?
Fast food chains have lost their minds and Chick-fil-A is no exception. Just yesterday Kentucky Fried Chicken revealed a hot, young and sexy Colonel Sanders and now Chick-fil-A is putting it all on the table with its new “Eat Mor … Continue reading Un-Holy Cow! Chick-fil-A ads get dirty after KFC introduces sexy Colonel Sanders
According to their website, Mufflr is being funded by powerful lesbians Ellen Degeneres and Hillary Clinton. Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Becomes Spokeswoman for New Lesbian Dating App Mufflr
“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated. Continue reading US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’
Being unable to spell is no longer considered a ‘dealbreaker’ among most Americans. Continue reading Can’t Spell? No Problem: Dating App Users Are Attracted to Partners Who Can’t Spell
“Our first guideline for all users is that you cannot use nude photos in your profile, so that was strike one.” Continue reading Mike Pence Banned From Grindr
“Dennis is cool. He’s not a weird guy, and he knows a lot about football, but the other guys just didn’t seem comfortable, whatsoever, with his humor,” stated Sorenson… Continue reading Gay Friend Making Fantasy Football League Awkward
Release include user names, real names, credit card information, addresses, and – perhaps most notably – sexual fetishes. We are sorry if anyone has been cheated on, but here is the celebrity list of Ashley Madison account holders… Continue reading Ashley Madison Leak Includes Several Celebrities
“At this point I realized that something was up,” stated Johnson “because he would get mad if I walked on the side of him that the arrows on his shirt weren’t pointing at… and ALL of the shirts had an arrow.” Continue reading Ex-Gay’s Parents Will Not Accept “New Lifestyle Choice”
