“Unless Redbox starts squeezing out moist, two-year-old prosciutto with every DVD, I have no idea how they’re going to compete with this.”
“The geriatric cyborgs have two convenient USB ports allowing customers to charge their phones,” Walmart CEO Doug McMillon stated.
“The goal here is to analyze the memory-erasing technology used in the film and then build, disperse and use the devices in every congregation around the world,” Pope Francis stated.
“This bendable phone comes with all of the same features as the Galaxy Fold, but the device can only be folded in half one time,” Samsung CEO Kim Suk stated.
“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.”
“I think that my aunt needing 57 stitches in the buttcheeks and rectal region is a strong selling point for the product.” – Kholer President & CEO
“Simply put, Apple has accidentally created a shortcut through spacetime.”