Weird Tech: Watch the Life Story of Animals as You Eat Them

YouReadyGrandma

“Unless Redbox starts squeezing out moist, two-year-old prosciutto with every DVD, I have no idea how they’re going to compete with this.”

Walmart Implants Elderly Greeters With Robotic Parts

YouReadyGrandma

“The geriatric cyborgs have two convenient USB ports allowing customers to charge their phones,” Walmart CEO Doug McMillon stated.

Leaders of Catholic Church Gather to Watch ‘Men in Black II’ & Build Memory-Erasing Machine

YouReadyGrandma

“The goal here is to analyze the memory-erasing technology used in the film and then build, disperse and use the devices in every congregation around the world,” Pope Francis stated.

Samsung Announces its Cheaper, Single-Use Galaxy 1-Fold

YouReadyGrandma

“This bendable phone comes with all of the same features as the Galaxy Fold, but the device can only be folded in half one time,” Samsung CEO Kim Suk stated.

Mars Rover Found Dead From Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.”

Demand for Structurally-Reinforced Toilets Spikes as More Obese Americans Poop With Their Smart Phones

YouReadyGrandma

“I think that my aunt needing 57 stitches in the buttcheeks and rectal region is a strong selling point for the product.” – Kholer President & CEO

FaceTime Bug Causes Small Wormholes to Appear & Suck Up iPhones, Nearby Objects

YouReadyGrandma

“Simply put, Apple has accidentally created a shortcut through spacetime.”

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