Dole is recalling nearly 27 million bananas after discovering that genetically modified seeds had retained a researcher’s penile DNA which contaminated the product during a laboratory incident involving lewd acts between a scientist and a lab rat.
The bananas in question primarily grew in Costa Rica and Guatemala and have already been sold in grocery stores across 37 states. This DNA fiasco occurs just 3 months after a shipment of 1.2 million bananas from Columbia to San Diego were discovered to have been laced with cocaine.
Dole says that consumers can tell if they have purchased a penis banana if, when peeled, the banana looks like a dick.
“Technically, consumers who have eaten these bananas have – in every practical sense – eaten a human penis,” Dole Chairman and CEO David H. Murdock said.