Early reports confirm Trump stars in the film as Ronald Klump, an “incredibly-relatable, African American Trump supporter who ventures on a mission to get Mexico to pay for the wall.”
Gillette says they intend to replace the marketing team with all female, yet conservative employees “so both sides shut up.”
“He didn’t know that whales were real and he is unreasonably terrified of them.”
“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.”
Mass graves are filling up outside of the Ford Truck Plant in Dearborn, MI.
“Jim just got front row seats to Broadway’s shit musical ‘Adolph Twitler: The Fuckface von Clownstick Story’
“Overall, we just want to make everyone feel more welcome and safe at Starbucks.”
Hopes are high for this sequel as the original 1997 hit raked in over $1.5 billion worldwide.