Ford Motor Company has recalled 874,000 trucks in North America leaving devastated owners with no choice but to euthanize their shitty excuse for an automobile.
“Ford told us we could turn the vehicles in and get money for ’em, but that’s for pussies,” F-150 owner Brad Soderburg uttered through choked-up sobs. “Real men (sob), real men do things themselves,” Saderburg concluded while loading his Remington 870 pump-action shotgun.
Soon after the announcement the Department of Transportation released a statement informing citizens that roadways should be much safer for awhile as less inferiority-ridden Americans will be speeding, weaving and parking like reckless assholes.
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