Denver announces the country’s first public ‘Mushroom Experimentation Area’

YouReadyGrandma

Authorities in Denver, Colorado say that they’re encouraging the legal use of psychedelic mushrooms in order to study how people who are on the drug interact in public spaces. “We don’t know what’s going to happen, but we’re opening up the area next month,” Governor Jared Polis stated. “So, come to Denver – eat a bunch of mushroom caps – and just touch a stranger’s face for awhile. You probably won’t regret it.” The designated drug use area begins downtown at the 16th Street Mall and spreads out to however far someone can walk while tripping balls for eight hours. Support the Author Advertisements

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Disney’s remake of Home Alone depicts Kevin’s parents being taken by ICE

YouReadyGrandma

Disney’s remake of Home Alone, entitled ‘Home Alone: Siempre,’ will feature all Latino actors and a modern plot twist in which Kevin’s parents are taken by racist ICE agents who call themselves “The Wetback Bandits.” Kevin’s parents are deported to Iraq for some fucking reason – even though they’re American citizens – and Kevin is left home alone forever. Home Alone: Siempre is based on a true story and rated R for racism. Support the Author

You can now hunt plant-based, robo-animals thanks to Beyond Meat

YouReadyGrandma

A new era of vegan-friendly hunting has begun in America.

Furries rejoice as Birkenstock announces Furkenstock sandals

YouReadyGrandma

The new line of sandals will come in 7 species options and be released in about one dog year.

Millennials are burying their parents with the participation trophies they didn’t ask for

YouReadyGrandma

It’s a smart way to recycle while also saying ‘Thanks for playing the game of life! You certainly didn’t win, Sharon, but here’s a fucking trophy.’

American Crime Story: Impeachment is just five hours of blowjob reenactments

YouReadyGrandma

The TV series features music by renowned composer John Williams.