“We know it is hard for Mr. McConnell to have to abort the bill right here on the Senate floor, but Democrats are truly supportive of the decision.”
“In common public opinion, turtles are just cold-blooded, unthinking and unfeeling creatures,” University of Kentucky Herpetology professor Horace Bartjis stated. “So McConnell really chose the right profession.”
“Let’s just admit it, Mitch is such a basic bitch name.” – Senator Bitch McConnell
“I just don’t see the problem here.” – Senator McConnell
“Mitch insists on having mayonnaise in every single meal he eats.”
After procedural introduction of the bill, Ted Cruz (R-TX) immediately shouted, “Permission to speak freely!?” in an echoing, emotional, yet somehow guttural and primal tone.