Former Pope Benedict released his new book today entitled From the Depths of Our Loins: Silk Boxers & Swollen Balls. The book aims to educate the public on the sexual struggles that come with being a clergyman. What do you … Continue reading Retired Pope Benedict breaks silence on blue balls, wet dreams in Church life, and nobody wants to hear it
A new Des Moines Register/CNN/Mediacom Iowa Poll shows that 54% of likely male voters would be open to sleeping with Pete Buttigieg. What do you think? “If the timing were right, and I didn’t have these pesky kids, I’d give … Continue reading New poll shows most Iowa men are “open to” sleeping with Pete Buttigieg
Recent studies reveal that nearly 20% of flight attendants saying they’ve received reports of passenger-on-passenger sexual assault on a flight and 68% have been sexually harassed themselves. If you’re keeping up with the times, you should already know that there … Continue reading 5 things you should never do with your penis on an airplane in 2020
The Salvation Army announced today that they’ll be using $1.58 million in donations to purchase 100,000 pocket anuses for clergymen in the Catholic Church this Christmas. The charity says their goal is to curb pedophilia. “As far as we can … Continue reading The Salvation Army says it’s donating pocket anuses to the Catholic Church to curb pedophilia
The word “they” has been named Merriam-Webster’s word of the year after an incredible spike in its usage in 2019. Notably, the term has been expanded to “refer to a single person whose gender identity is nonbinary.” What do you … Continue reading Inclusion: Merriam-Webster names “they” word of the year
In an apology for cutting out all LGBT sex scenes from Rocketman – the biographical musical film based on the life of musician Elton John – Delta airlines has announced they’ll be playing nothing but gay sex scenes on flights … Continue reading Delta flights will play same-sex pornography on repeat for the month of December
A new, controversial advertisement by Elizabeth Warren’s presidential campaign was released today and people are shocked. The ad, which focuses on the Senator admitting to a sexual affair with a 24-year old Marine, combines a patriotic tone with a confusing … Continue reading “I’m Elizabeth Warren and I let a Marine go down on me… for America” new political ad states
Award-winning singer/songwriter Mark Ronson came out as trysexual today – meaning he’ll try anything in the bedroom with sexual partners. “It doesn’t matter how nasty the act is, I’ll try it,” Ronson smiled. “You name it, I’ve done it, or … Continue reading Mark Ronson comes out as trysexual
Sucking on flavored condoms has made Mike Pence ill and killed at least six people after they choked on the prophylactics. In response, Congress is readying a ban on the tasty dick wrappers amid an unparalleled outbreak of safe oral … Continue reading Congress will ban flavored condom sales as blowjob epidemic grows
Fast food chains have lost their minds and Chick-fil-A is no exception. Just yesterday Kentucky Fried Chicken revealed a hot, young and sexy Colonel Sanders and now Chick-fil-A is putting it all on the table with its new “Eat Mor … Continue reading Un-Holy Cow! Chick-fil-A ads get dirty after KFC introduces sexy Colonel Sanders
“The children’s entertainment and pizza chain explicitly stated that Vice President Mike Pence will not be allowed inside after his furry tail butt plug incident months back.” Continue reading Mike Pence, Other Furries Banned From All Chuck E. Cheese’s
In response, Sam’s Club announced they will be selling “everything necessary to create an elaborate sex dungeon” by July. Continue reading Target Adds BDSM Section Next to Electronics
We can’t have Canada smelling like burnt, used condoms anymore,” Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stated. Continue reading Canada Will Ban All Single-Use Condoms by 2021
“At least 87% of lotion used by men is vigorously rubbed on less than 1% of their bodies.” Continue reading Study: Guys Use 3X More Lotion Than Girls, and Yes, You Know Why
“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated. Continue reading US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’
“The only sexual contact permitted in China for the foreseeable future will be homosexual in nature,” President Jinping stated while intertwining his fingers with NBA star Yao Ming. Continue reading China Bans Heterosexual Sex Over Population Concerns
Biden was leering at the frail, 85 year old Senator Dianne Feinstein when he uttered the phrase. Continue reading Joe Biden Caught on Tape Saying “Punch Her in the Taco”
Pope Francis’ adult book is entitled ‘The Divinci Load.’ Continue reading Pope Francis Demands Every Dirty Detail on Sexual Abuse for His Adult Fantasy Novel
