Massive Fraud Incapable Of Correctly Identifying Massive Fraud

(Palm Beach, FL) An area man, who perfectly fits the definition of a con artist, has been embarrassing himself by repeatedly and incorrectly telling everyone he’s uncovered proof of massive fraud in the 2020 election. “For his entire career this … Continue reading Massive Fraud Incapable Of Correctly Identifying Massive Fraud

Liz Cheney reminds public shes still a horrible person

Uncomfortable With Liberal Support, Liz Cheney Reassures Public She’s ‘Still A Horrible, Horrible Person’

Liz Cheney has been taking heat from fellow Republicans ever since she tweeted yesterday that “The 2020 presidential election was not stolen,” and that “Anyone who claims it was is spreading THE BIG LIE, turning their back on the rule … Continue reading Uncomfortable With Liberal Support, Liz Cheney Reassures Public She’s ‘Still A Horrible, Horrible Person’

Employers now asking who won the 2020 election in interviews to weed out crazy candidates

Employers Now Asking ‘Who Won The 2020 Election?’ In Job Interviews To Weed Out Crazy Candidates

It might be illegal, but top employers from around the country, including Walmart, Amazon, Kroger, Home Depot, and FedEx have started asking interviewees the screening question: “Who won the 2020 election?” The corporate decision to ask such a question comes … Continue reading Employers Now Asking ‘Who Won The 2020 Election?’ In Job Interviews To Weed Out Crazy Candidates

Trump I can stop whenever i want doubles down on recount

‘I Can Stop Anytime I Want!’ Shouts Trump While Using Last of His Money to Double Down on Recounts

A desperate, broke Donald Trump was overheard shouting “C’mon baby! Donny needs a new set of results!” as he rolled the dice again by sending yet another $3 million to Wisconsin to recount votes for a second time. “The president … Continue reading ‘I Can Stop Anytime I Want!’ Shouts Trump While Using Last of His Money to Double Down on Recounts

White House orders Trump more straws to grasp at

White House Orders Thousands of Straws For Trump to Continue Grasping At

Staffers are reporting that the White House received a huge shipment of straws today after president Trump grasped at every last one he could find while trying to come up with a believable reason to overturn election results. “The president … Continue reading White House Orders Thousands of Straws For Trump to Continue Grasping At

absent minded democrats forget to rig house and senate races

Absent-Minded: Democrats Forget to Rig House & Senate Races

Having successfully rigged the 2020 presidential election for Joe Biden, Democrats are just now realizing that they forgot to cheat in all of the House and Senate races that took place across the country. “Whoops! We fixed the election for … Continue reading Absent-Minded: Democrats Forget to Rig House & Senate Races

Video shows trump crying and overeating after election loss

Trump Cries & Overeats in TV Ad That Prepares US for ‘New Kind of Presidential Low’

Having previously stated that he “might cry a lot” if he loses, the White House released a video today depicting Donald Trump gorging himself on KFC and McDonald’s while sobbing uncontrollably. The video, which was reportedly filmed in the past … Continue reading Trump Cries & Overeats in TV Ad That Prepares US for ‘New Kind of Presidential Low’

Civil War 'Unlikely' as Most Trump Supporters Are Sick With COVID

Civil War ‘Unlikely’ as Most Trump Supporters Are Sick With COVID

Looking to ease the nation’s worries that the United States is on the brink of civil war, historians have come together to point out that too many Trump supporters have gotten COVID for the modern day South to physically rise … Continue reading Civil War ‘Unlikely’ as Most Trump Supporters Are Sick With COVID

Biden Asks Am I crazy or should i be winning by a lot

Biden Questions Own Mental Health: ‘Am I Crazy? Shouldn’t I Be Winning By, Like, A Lot?’

A visibly frustrated and bewildered Joe Biden asked a group of reporters today – out loud – if he was losing his mind, questioning “Am I fucking crazy? Shouldn’t I be winning by, like, a lot?” “I feel like I’m … Continue reading Biden Questions Own Mental Health: ‘Am I Crazy? Shouldn’t I Be Winning By, Like, A Lot?’

Karen Pence Insists on Sitting Between Mike Pence & Kamala Harris on Debate Stage

Karen Pence says she will only allow her husband to debate Kamala Harris if she can sit on stage between the two candidates and “make sure that Mike doesn’t give in to sexual temptations.” Shortly after the news broke, Joe … Continue reading Karen Pence Insists on Sitting Between Mike Pence & Kamala Harris on Debate Stage

Sarah Palin Advises Kamala Harris Against Being a ‘Total Fucking Moron,’ Says ‘That Was My Biggest Mistake’

Former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin offered advice to Kamala Harris today after she was selected to be Joe Biden’s running mate. Via an Instagram post, the former Alaska governor gave a few suggestions. “Congrats to the democrat VP pick. … Continue reading Sarah Palin Advises Kamala Harris Against Being a ‘Total Fucking Moron,’ Says ‘That Was My Biggest Mistake’

Republicans Use Egotistical Lunatic to Help Reelect Egotistical Lunatic

Republicans helped Kanye West get himself on the Wisconsin ballot for the 2020 presidential election today; a move that could divert votes from Joe Biden to West and hand Trump a victory in the swing state. Despite having unmanaged mental … Continue reading Republicans Use Egotistical Lunatic to Help Reelect Egotistical Lunatic

SpaceX Astronauts Refusing to Return to Earth ‘Until The US Gets Its Shit Together’

SpaceX astronauts Robert Behnken and Douglas Hurley are refusing orders to return to Earth this weekend, citing the uncontrolled spread of coronavirus and social unrest in their home country of the United States. “Although we have already carried out our … Continue reading SpaceX Astronauts Refusing to Return to Earth ‘Until The US Gets Its Shit Together’

Trump Sends Federal Agents to Suburbs to Demonstrate How Easy It Is to Steal Your Mail

President Trump is sending federal agents to the US suburbs in order to show citizens just “how easy it is to take their mail.” The move comes in an effort to prove that mail-in ballots will cause large-scale voter fraud … Continue reading Trump Sends Federal Agents to Suburbs to Demonstrate How Easy It Is to Steal Your Mail

Trump Says Unbiased Third Party ‘Such as Russia’ Should Oversee 2020 Mail-In Ballots

President Trump told reporters today that he believed that mail-in voting for the 2020 election would result in the most inaccurate and fraudulent election in history. Trump added that he’d be “much more comfortable” having Russia oversee the mail-in ballots … Continue reading Trump Says Unbiased Third Party ‘Such as Russia’ Should Oversee 2020 Mail-In Ballots

Kentucky Moves Only Louisville Voting Machine ‘Somewhere Inside of Mammoth Cave’

Kentucky election officials stunned voters this morning when they announced that the only functioning voting machine for Louisville had been relocated “somewhere inside of Mammoth Cave” – the world’s longest cave system. Officials say that malfunctioning equipment and understaffing lead … Continue reading Kentucky Moves Only Louisville Voting Machine ‘Somewhere Inside of Mammoth Cave’

Biden Doubles Down, Says ‘40% of Americans Are Rinky Dinky Chicken Shits’

Joe Biden issued a stunning correction today after claiming that “10 to 15% of Americans are not very good people.” Rather than try to smooth things over, Biden doubled down. “I am deeply sorry if I have offended anyone with … Continue reading Biden Doubles Down, Says ‘40% of Americans Are Rinky Dinky Chicken Shits’