A poll of 565 men has found that 82% did not believe mutual masturbation to be a homosexual act, with respondents expressing a sentiment that touching cock isn’t gay, but lips touching lips is gay – meaning that emotional intimacy … Continue reading 4 in 5 Men Think Masturbating With Another Man ‘Isn’t Gay’
We’re leaning toward ‘acting just like all of you fucking assholes.’ Continue reading World’s Remaining Nice People ‘Strongly Considering Not Being Taken Advantage of Anymore’
“Jim just got front row seats to Broadway’s shit musical ‘Adolph Twitler: The Fuckface von Clownstick Story’ Continue reading Remorseful Jim Acosta ‘What the Fuck Have I Done!?’
“Honestly, I think we’re just going to move every piece of debris 10 feet to the right and see if that helps,” Long stated. Continue reading Bewildered Hurricane Responders Begin Arduous Task of ‘Moving Everything 10 Feet to the Right’
“Let’s just admit it, Mitch is such a basic bitch name.” – Senator Bitch McConnell Continue reading Mitch McConnell Legally Changes Name to ‘Bitch McConnell’
“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.” Continue reading National Association of Funeral Directors Says Photos of Dead are ‘On Fleek’
“If enough of us do it, they can’t catch us all.” Continue reading Tomorrow is National Insurance Fraud Day!
Banana sales have increased by 27% in the United States. Continue reading Dole Recalls 27 Million Bananas for Having Penis DNA
“The first idea that it runs into is the decision that we go with.” – Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross Continue reading An iRobot Roomba 690 Robot Vacuum with Wi-Fi Connectivity has Been Running the Country since late 2017
Nigerian fans brought 2,500 colorfully-painted, live chickens into Russia’s Kaliningrad Stadium. Continue reading World Cup Spectator Deaths Decrease by Nearly 1,800 in 2018
Trump intended to nominate Mark McKinney who plays the role of Glenn Sturgis in NBC’s ‘Superstore’. Continue reading Trump Thinks He Nominated Glenn Sturgis from ‘Superstore’ to Supreme Court
Those who take prescription drugs made by Pfizer will not be able to notice the difference. Continue reading Pfizer Releases Pills that Slowly Deduct Money from Your Bank Account
The amount of marijuana that Mr. Sessions consumes on a daily basis is staggering. Continue reading Jeff Sessions is Using Marijuana to Cope With His Job
This was a direct response to outcry from PETA regarding changes in Alaskan hunting regulations which would… Continue reading President Trump Has Strangled a Bear Cub to Death on the North Lawn
It is not uncommon for Bear Cubs (scouts as young as 8 or 9 years old) to leave their families for a better life in the forest. Continue reading Nearly Half of Boy Scouts Become Forest-Dwelling Socialists
“Steve and Tim will hold hands, and sometimes even kiss,” laughed Earhardt. Continue reading Fox & Friends’ Steve Doocy Pretends to be Gay for 50th Straight April Fools Day
The president’s internal struggle has become quite tangible. #MindOverMatter Continue reading Donald Trump’s Body is Trying to Leave His Brain
Samsung Soft: Televisions You Can Beat the Living **** Out Of. Continue reading Introducing Samsung Soft: The Smart TV that you can Punch
