Bewildered Hurricane Responders Begin Arduous Task of ‘Moving Everything 10 Feet to the Right’

First responders who had arrived in areas hit by hurricane Michael spent most of yesterday standing around and oggling the destruction. FEMA says the aftermath is so bad that, at first,  nobody knew where to start.

“Yesterday ended up being very productive,” head of FEMA Brock Long stated. “I can’t tell you how many people I saw who showed up just to say ‘Wow!’ or ‘Jeez!’ We even had a few bold, audible ‘Can you believe this’s?!’ being thrown around.”

“Was it hard to focus on our work while strangers could be heard shouting for help from nearly every direction? Sure.” Long stated. “But we’re professionals here. We pointed at things. We stood with our hands on our hips and looked on. We even shook our heads and said ‘What a damned shame’.”

Long continued.

“Nobody knew what to do until one guy, Tom I think, picked up a piece of wood and moved it 10 feet. Then I did the same,” Long said. “Eventually we moved what we think was an entire house 10 feet to the right. So we’re pretty proud of that.”

FEMA says that there’s really no logical way to fix the devastated region.

“So for now we’re just going to move every piece of debris 10 feet to the right and see if that helps,” Long stated.”

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