UnitedHealth & NRA Partner with Retailers to Offer Incredible Discounts for Gun Buyers Who ‘Look Ready to Snap’

In a bold move to address escalating tensions between Americans and the healthcare industry, UnitedHealth Group has announced a groundbreaking partnership with gun retailers and the National Rifle Association (NRA). The initiative offers steep discounts on premiums and bills to gun owners, … Continue reading UnitedHealth & NRA Partner with Retailers to Offer Incredible Discounts for Gun Buyers Who ‘Look Ready to Snap’

Life Insurance Companies Drop Coverage for All Billionaires & Ultra Wealthy Due to “High Risk Choices”

In a shocking move that has sent waves through yacht clubs and boardrooms alike, life insurance companies nationwide have begun dropping billionaires and multi-millionaires from their policies, citing them as “too high risk.” The unprecedented decision comes on the heels … Continue reading Life Insurance Companies Drop Coverage for All Billionaires & Ultra Wealthy Due to “High Risk Choices”

BREAKING: Biden-Pfizer Deal to Mass Produce Personal Gaza Strips Ends Israeli-Palestinian War Permanently

In a move that has officially ended the Israeli-Palestinian War, President Joe Biden announced a groundbreaking deal with pharmaceutical giant Pfizer to mass-produce and distribute personal Gaza Strips to everyone involved in the conflict. Speaking from the Rose Garden, President … Continue reading BREAKING: Biden-Pfizer Deal to Mass Produce Personal Gaza Strips Ends Israeli-Palestinian War Permanently

Conservatives Propose Mandatory Silencers To Limit Panic During Mass Shootings

Washington, D.C. — In a surprising turn of events on Capitol Hill, conservatives are pushing to pass gun control legislation with the newly proposed H.U.S.H. act. The bill, which would require all guns sold in the United States to be … Continue reading Conservatives Propose Mandatory Silencers To Limit Panic During Mass Shootings

NRA Recommends Pocket Knives For Babies This Christmas: ‘Guns Are For Toddlers & Older’

The National Rifle Association says that this Christmas the perfect last minute present for a new baby is a pocket knife. Notably, the announcement is a huge flip-flop after decades of the NRA saying that guns are perfectly safe for … Continue reading NRA Recommends Pocket Knives For Babies This Christmas: ‘Guns Are For Toddlers & Older’

Man Who Says US Is Greatest Country On Earth Can’t Step Out Front Door Without Being Armed For Combat

(Milwaukee, WI) Local man James Fielder, who firmly believes that the United States is the best country on the planet, refuses to ever leave his house without bringing at least two guns with him. “I carry these weapons in public … Continue reading Man Who Says US Is Greatest Country On Earth Can’t Step Out Front Door Without Being Armed For Combat

Republicans Push For ‘Mass Shooting Condolence Cards’ Section In Every Walmart

Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell told reporters early this morning that Republicans in Congress plan to introduce a bill that would require all Walmart locations to have a mass shooting condolence card section within the store. “It’s the least we can … Continue reading Republicans Push For ‘Mass Shooting Condolence Cards’ Section In Every Walmart

New Texas Law Will Outfit All School Staff With Everything A School Shooter Would Have

Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced today that a new law will soon be passed by the state which will fully-arm school staff with everything a school shooter could possibly bring with them during an attack. “You gotta make it a … Continue reading New Texas Law Will Outfit All School Staff With Everything A School Shooter Would Have

Republicans Tricked Into Supporting Gun Control After Democrats Start Calling Mass Shootings ‘Post-Birth Abortions’

After offering no real solutions for mass shootings in America for decades, Republicans have now been tricked into supporting gun control laws after Democrats began calling mass shootings “post-birth abortions” yesterday. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi gave a brief … Continue reading Republicans Tricked Into Supporting Gun Control After Democrats Start Calling Mass Shootings ‘Post-Birth Abortions’

Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony & OJ Simpson Raising Money To Sue Media For Defamation

Famous murder trial defendants Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony and OJ Simpson have joined forces in a new fundraising initiative called The Media Accountability Project. Rittenhouse says the money raised will help take certain media outlets and individuals to court to … Continue reading Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony & OJ Simpson Raising Money To Sue Media For Defamation

ATF Valentine’s Tweet Tells Citizens To Report Their Exes If They Buy Or Sell Guns Illegally

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) posted a tweet today telling American citizens to call a tip line to report any of their exes who buy or sell guns illegally. Part of the ATF’s tweet read, “Valentine’s … Continue reading ATF Valentine’s Tweet Tells Citizens To Report Their Exes If They Buy Or Sell Guns Illegally

Judge In Kyle Rittenhouse Trial Gets FBI Escort To & From Nursing Home Every Day

Sources have confirmed that Justice Bruce Schroeder, who is inattentively presiding over the Kyle Rittenhouse homicide trial, is currently residing in Parkside Manor Assisted Living in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Justice Schroeder has been getting FBI escorts to and from the nursing … Continue reading Judge In Kyle Rittenhouse Trial Gets FBI Escort To & From Nursing Home Every Day

NC Rep. Cawthorn Says Biden Could Send People Door-To-Door To Confiscate Bibles and Guns

North Carolina Representative Cawthorn Says Biden Could Send People Door-To-Door To Confiscate Bibles & Guns

North Carolina Republican Madison Cawthorn told audience members at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) today that the process of going door-to-door to inform Americans about vaccinations could also be used to take citizens’ guns and bibles. Here’s what people … Continue reading North Carolina Representative Cawthorn Says Biden Could Send People Door-To-Door To Confiscate Bibles & Guns

Hero dog owner shoots fireworks down before they can explode

Florida Woman Arrested For Shooting Fireworks Out Of The Sky ‘So They Don’t Explode & Scare Dogs’

BROOKSVILLE, FLORIDA – Dog owner, and mother of two, Sharon Braun took matters into her own hands this Fourth of July when she attempted to shoot fireworks out of the sky with a rifle “before they could explode.” Braun says … Continue reading Florida Woman Arrested For Shooting Fireworks Out Of The Sky ‘So They Don’t Explode & Scare Dogs’

capitol stormers wish theyd worn hoods like grandparents used to

Arrested Capitol Attackers Now Wish They’d Worn Hoods Like Their Grandparents

Citing a lack of anonymity as being their primary mistake, countless arrested domestic terrorists who stormed the Capitol now say they regret not wearing white, pointy hoods like their grandparents had during riots past. “Collectively, we should have learned from … Continue reading Arrested Capitol Attackers Now Wish They’d Worn Hoods Like Their Grandparents

Black Americans are considering trying an open carry rally – just once – to get a gun control bill passed

Black Americans across the country are seriously considering risking their lives by staging an open carry rally outside of the White House. While still in the early planning stages, the group says they would hold the gathering in order to … Continue reading Black Americans are considering trying an open carry rally – just once – to get a gun control bill passed

Gun rights activists show stylish side by wearing masquerade ball outfits while carry guns around Virginia’s capital

A group of white supremacists, anti-government militias, extremists – and what we are assuming are some very fine people – gathered today outside of the the capital building in Richmond, Virginia wearing masquerade outfits to protest background checks for purchasing … Continue reading Gun rights activists show stylish side by wearing masquerade ball outfits while carry guns around Virginia’s capital