Washington, D.C. — In a surprising turn of events on Capitol Hill, conservatives are pushing to pass gun control legislation with the newly proposed H.U.S.H. act. The bill, which would require all guns sold in the United States to be … Continue reading Conservatives Propose Mandatory Silencers To Limit Panic During Mass Shootings
The National Rifle Association says that this Christmas the perfect last minute present for a new baby is a pocket knife. Notably, the announcement is a huge flip-flop after decades of the NRA saying that guns are perfectly safe for … Continue reading NRA Recommends Pocket Knives For Babies This Christmas: ‘Guns Are For Toddlers & Older’
(Milwaukee, WI) Local man James Fielder, who firmly believes that the United States is the best country on the planet, refuses to ever leave his house without bringing at least two guns with him. “I carry these weapons in public … Continue reading Man Who Says US Is Greatest Country On Earth Can’t Step Out Front Door Without Being Armed For Combat
Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell told reporters early this morning that Republicans in Congress plan to introduce a bill that would require all Walmart locations to have a mass shooting condolence card section within the store. “It’s the least we can … Continue reading Republicans Push For ‘Mass Shooting Condolence Cards’ Section In Every Walmart
Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced today that a new law will soon be passed by the state which will fully-arm school staff with everything a school shooter could possibly bring with them during an attack. “You gotta make it a … Continue reading New Texas Law Will Outfit All School Staff With Everything A School Shooter Would Have
After offering no real solutions for mass shootings in America for decades, Republicans have now been tricked into supporting gun control laws after Democrats began calling mass shootings “post-birth abortions” yesterday. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi gave a brief … Continue reading Republicans Tricked Into Supporting Gun Control After Democrats Start Calling Mass Shootings ‘Post-Birth Abortions’
Famous murder trial defendants Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony and OJ Simpson have joined forces in a new fundraising initiative called The Media Accountability Project. Rittenhouse says the money raised will help take certain media outlets and individuals to court to … Continue reading Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony & OJ Simpson Raising Money To Sue Media For Defamation
The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) posted a tweet today telling American citizens to call a tip line to report any of their exes who buy or sell guns illegally. Part of the ATF’s tweet read, “Valentine’s … Continue reading ATF Valentine’s Tweet Tells Citizens To Report Their Exes If They Buy Or Sell Guns Illegally
Sources have confirmed that Justice Bruce Schroeder, who is inattentively presiding over the Kyle Rittenhouse homicide trial, is currently residing in Parkside Manor Assisted Living in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Justice Schroeder has been getting FBI escorts to and from the nursing … Continue reading Judge In Kyle Rittenhouse Trial Gets FBI Escort To & From Nursing Home Every Day
North Carolina Republican Madison Cawthorn told audience members at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) today that the process of going door-to-door to inform Americans about vaccinations could also be used to take citizens’ guns and bibles. Here’s what people … Continue reading North Carolina Representative Cawthorn Says Biden Could Send People Door-To-Door To Confiscate Bibles & Guns
BROOKSVILLE, FLORIDA – Dog owner, and mother of two, Sharon Braun took matters into her own hands this Fourth of July when she attempted to shoot fireworks out of the sky with a rifle “before they could explode.” Braun says … Continue reading Florida Woman Arrested For Shooting Fireworks Out Of The Sky ‘So They Don’t Explode & Scare Dogs’
Citing a lack of anonymity as being their primary mistake, countless arrested domestic terrorists who stormed the Capitol now say they regret not wearing white, pointy hoods like their grandparents had during riots past. “Collectively, we should have learned from … Continue reading Arrested Capitol Attackers Now Wish They’d Worn Hoods Like Their Grandparents
Black Americans across the country are seriously considering risking their lives by staging an open carry rally outside of the White House. While still in the early planning stages, the group says they would hold the gathering in order to … Continue reading Black Americans are considering trying an open carry rally – just once – to get a gun control bill passed
A group of white supremacists, anti-government militias, extremists – and what we are assuming are some very fine people – gathered today outside of the the capital building in Richmond, Virginia wearing masquerade outfits to protest background checks for purchasing … Continue reading Gun rights activists show stylish side by wearing masquerade ball outfits while carry guns around Virginia’s capital
Gun lovers are showing their respect for new rules at stores across the nation by leaving their weapons unattended outside the front doors. At one point, a Walmart in Cypress, Texas had over 250 firearms stacked out front. Continue reading Respectful gun enthusiasts are leaving their weapons unattended outside of stores
With Walmart and Kroger banning open carry in all of their stores, there are now over 25 different grocery chains that have limited people’s gun rights. Gun activists say there’s almost nowhere to use their weapons to kill and eat … Continue reading 25 grocery store chains ban open carry, leaving gun owners nowhere to hunt for food
Countless firearm fanatics are boycotting Walmart after the company ended some of its ammunition sales and banned customers from walking around the stores with their dicks out guns. Meanwhile, Arby’s hasn’t changed how they’ve been selling ammunition since they opened … Continue reading Boycotting Walmart? Take your sister to Arby’s for your next date instead
