Tag: Candidate

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Laughable Third Party Candidate Hasn’t Even Been Accused of Sexual Assault

Congressman Justin Amash, a Republican-turned-independent from Michigan, took heat upon announcing his presidential bid after it was revealed that he has yet to be accused of any form of sexual misconduct. The revelation that Amash […]

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Scott Walker Believes Only Thing Between Him & Presidency is Dog Allergies

Scott Walker Believes Only Thing Between Him & Presidency is Dog Allergies

“I think I can let my track record speak for itself,” stated Walker. “Yet, I know that there haven’t been any worthwhile presidents who did not have a dog. I mean, Chester A. Arthur was the only president with no pets, and let’s be honest – who the fuck [sic] was Chester A. Arthur?”