After learning that Olive Garden’s parent company donates to the Trump campaign, liberals everywhere are asking for one last tinfoil bag of over-salted, buttery goodness before never setting foot in the glorified salad bar again. As of press time, boycotters had already begun purchasing TV dinners as a less expensive, higher quality alternative to the restaurant’s entrees. Advertisements
If you enjoy eating frozen shit saucers that come out of the toaster one of two ways: burnt to a crisp or looking like someone fucked it to death, then you are a certified psychopath.
After announcing a new partnership with Planned Parenthood, PepsiCo. is temporarily closing over 500 Taco Bell – Pizza Hut Express® restaurants to renovate the establishments into Planned Parenthood – Pizza Hut Express® reproductive health and pizza chains. “We’ll be offering the full Pizza Hut menu, 24-hour drive-thru birth control pickup – and if you come inside – an assorted condom buffet,” Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards stated. Pizza Hut drivers will also take care of birth control delivery with the company guaranteeing a 30-minute delivery or any resulting abortion is free. The new partnership comes with the slogan “We deliver so you don’t have to®.” Photo credit Mike Mozart
A can opener that was purchased from a Schaumburg, Illinois IKEA in 2012 has never been washed once in its life. Can opener owner Sean Miller says he has his reasons for never cleaning the device. “In all fairness I’m not really sure if you’re supposed put this model in the dishwasher because of the plastic handle,” Miller stated while opening a can of sardines. “Plus, it’s not like can openers really get that dirty.”
American meat company Oscar Meyer has plunged its toes into the dairy dessert world with their release of ice cream-filled hotdogs. Marketed as ‘Vanilla Squirters’ the odd treat hit store shelves this week. What do you think?
A new era of vegan-friendly hunting has begun in America.
A study by US Foods revealed that a shocking twenty-eight percent of food delivery drivers have eaten customers‘ food. What do you think? More NewsSupport the AuthorTake me to the MEMES!SourcePhoto Credit franchise opportunities