After years of complaints from white people and a group called Whites Against Spicy Products (WASPs), Tostitos has apologized for any emotional damage caused by their so-called “mild salsa.”
“It’s like a sick racist joke what Tostitos has done to the white population over the years.” Director of WASPs Jeremy Weinstein stated. “Who in their right mind puts half a jalapeno in 12oz of salsa and calls it mild!?”
Tostitos describes their new Extreme Mild Clear Salsa for White People® as being a thick, gelatinous substance for those with genetic spice sensitivities.
“Texturally, it’s very much like colorless Jell-O mixed with clear hair gel,” Frito-Lay CEO Vivek Sankaran stated. “It’s transparent to instill trust. When you look straight through our Extreme Mild Clear Salsa for White People® you know is safe and delicious.”
“Be sure to try Extreme Mild Clear Salsa for White People® today with Tostitos’ new Radical Plain Rice Cake Chips®. They’re overloaded with a sprinkle of salt.” Sankaran stated.
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Photo credit The Organic Dietician