The company is set to increase revenue by a staggering 37% by simply having their most competent employees run the store once a week.
“Not only was the scent of Cheerios inspired by the smell of a human ballsack, but the food was originally intended for dogs.”
“It’s hard to keep the kids clean and the depression buried deep, deep down inside. Purell lets you do both.”
“People who have to smell their food before eating it are complete monsters.”
Japan will resume the commercial killing of overweight citizens in an effort to curb the population of the island and supplement dwindling soybean supplies.
“Without the cheese it just flows right through you.” – CEO Brian Niccols
“Science has confirmed that you all can shut the [expletive] up about it.”