Failing Papa John’s Hires Shaquille O’Neal to Eat Most of Their Pizzas

Shaquille O’Neal has teamed-up with Papa John’s in an effort to curb company losses and make up for racist founder John Schnatter who loved screaming the ‘N-word’.

“Shaq’s gonna eat the pizza,” O’Neil confirmed.

Papa John’s is charging the NBA superstar $8.25 million to eat a quantity of pizza that would carry a retail price of around $24 million.
“They made a deal for Shaq,” O’Neil smiled.

“We’re still making money, and Shaquille is getting discounted food,” CEO Steve Ritchie stated. “There’s not enough people buying our product and unfortunately food has an expiration date. So we hired Shaq to pay us to eat our pizza.”

“Shaq friends with cheese,” O’Neil grinned.

Papa John’s also confirmed that Shaq will be allowed to use the N-word at his discretion within his seven contracted advertisements, prompting O’Neil to write his own jingle.

“It goes [Expletive], [Expletive], [Expletive],” the four-time NBA champion sang. “Then Shaq just repeats that over again.”

So don’t adjust your TV set when you hear 30-seconds of bleeping accompanied by pictures of pizza. That’s just a Papa John’s commercial.

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