Titanic Sequel: ‘Titanic Rising’ to Be Released this Summer
Hopes are high for this sequel as the original 1997 hit raked in over $1.5 billion worldwide. Continue reading Titanic Sequel: ‘Titanic Rising’ to Be Released this Summer
Category: Entertainment News
Most Americans Happy Game of Star Wars is Over
“If fans are demanding a complete reshoot of the final season, then I’ve avoided 71 episodes of anticlimactic bullshit.” Continue reading Most Americans Happy Game of Star Wars is Over
Sarah McLachlan Passes The Curse of The Arms of The Angel on to Maelyn Jarmon Live on The Voice
Elders of the ASPCA materialized on stage. Cloaked in black hoods, they hovered and waited for Jarmon to sign their commercial contract in her own blood. Continue reading Sarah McLachlan Passes The Curse of The Arms of The Angel on to Maelyn Jarmon Live on The Voice
Kim Kardashian Sues Jack in the Box Over Explosive Diarrhea
“Because of the extreme food poisoning, Kim has also experienced dramatic silicone loss in the [expletive], lip and breast regions.” Continue reading Kim Kardashian Sues Jack in the Box Over Explosive Diarrhea
What Happens to the 19 Dead Horses After the Kentucky Derby?
“We sell the meat to Taco Bell, send a bunch of parts to candy factories and use the rest to make high-end huffing glue.” Continue reading What Happens to the 19 Dead Horses After the Kentucky Derby?
Local Man Uses Catheter So He Doesn’t Miss Any Part of Avengers: Endgame
“Overall, I’d give the movie 5-stars,” Kellner stated. Continue reading Local Man Uses Catheter So He Doesn’t Miss Any Part of Avengers: Endgame
Bill Gates Stars as Catwoman in Highly-Anticipated Film
“Gates oozes with a sultry sex appeal that culminates in a passionate, 12-minute lovemaking scene with the masked hero Batman who is played by Apple CEO Tim Cook.” Continue reading Bill Gates Stars as Catwoman in Highly-Anticipated Film
Local Priest Hopes Replacing Incense with Marijuana Goes Over Well
“I’ll be watching the donation basket like a hawk as it goes around. You toss a $20 in there and you better believe I’m throwing a few extra sassy swings in your direction during the pot parade.” Continue reading Local Priest Hopes Replacing Incense with Marijuana Goes Over Well
Trump to Play Blackfaced ‘Ronald Klump’ Alongside Kanye West in Summer Blockbuster Movie
Early reports confirm Trump stars in the film as Ronald Klump, an “incredibly-relatable, African American Trump supporter who ventures on a mission to get Mexico to pay for the wall.” Continue reading Trump to Play Blackfaced ‘Ronald Klump’ Alongside Kanye West in Summer Blockbuster Movie
Awful Commercial Angers Men, Causes Hipsters to Shave Beards
Gillette says they intend to replace the marketing team with all female, yet conservative employees “so both sides shut up.” Continue reading Awful Commercial Angers Men, Causes Hipsters to Shave Beards
Entire ‘Beach Club’ Episode is Lindsay Lohan Getting Smacked in the Face
“I have never seen that much blood.” Continue reading Entire ‘Beach Club’ Episode is Lindsay Lohan Getting Smacked in the Face
Controversial ‘We Ate a Zoo’ Sequel Coming to Theaters This Fall
The movie reaches its tipping point when Damon’s children begin to ask why their favorite pig ‘Oinkers’ has gone missing. Continue reading Controversial ‘We Ate a Zoo’ Sequel Coming to Theaters This Fall
SeaWorld Refusing to Free Dead Whale
SeaWorld in San Antonio, Texas is refusing to properly dispose of the corpse of the recently deceased, 18-year-old orca named Unna. Instead, the park has opted to continue using the lifeless animal to continue bringing in crowds and doing shows.
With PETA in an uproar and petitions circling the Internet… Continue reading SeaWorld Refusing to Free Dead Whale
Steve Harvey Names Winner From Wrong Planet for Miss Universe
Steve Harvey, miss universe, wrong, winner, planet, kolob, names, crowns, mistake, error Continue reading Steve Harvey Names Winner From Wrong Planet for Miss Universe
Cher Pens Deal With Facebook: Get Ready for ‘Big Changes’
“After listening to Cher’s pitch we had a meeting of the minds at Facebook headquarters,” stated Zuckerberg. “The adjustments we are slated to make will not change the user experience overall, but simply help Cher to increase her marketability. The move was a no-brainer on the whole.” Continue reading Cher Pens Deal With Facebook: Get Ready for ‘Big Changes’
Daily Show’s John Stewart Steps Down, Brian Williams to Replace
(Breaking News) Thank you for reading my latest informative news article. Check out more stories below – or like my Facebook Page to get the latest. Continue reading Daily Show’s John Stewart Steps Down, Brian Williams to Replace