Father Richard Gripper of Holy Hill Basilica in Hubertus, Wisconsin says he will be lighting about 6 ounces of marijuana during mass over Easter weekend.
“Unless you’re going to hell, you’ve seen one of these things before,” Fr. Gripper grinned while swinging a thurible – which is just a fancy word for an incense holder suspended by metal chains.
“I’m packing this baby with some righteous bud this weekend,” Fr. Gripper smiled. “I’ve selected a smooth, frosty sativa-indica hybrid from my dealer Taylor. The strain is called Zombie Kush JC.”
Gripper says that he and Taylor have a working relationship that’s commonly found in The Church.
“We have a good system. Taylor supplies the weed, I pay three times the street value and he doesn’t talk about what happened at bible camp.”
Gripper hopes that hot-boxing the basilica will help churchgoers to “deal with the emotional roller coaster that is Easter.”
“The holidays are a stressful time. I want to help everyone to relax and stop worrying about life,” Gripper stated. “And you know I’ll be watching the donation basket like a hawk as it goes around. You toss a $20 in there and you better believe I’m throwing a few extra sassy swings in your direction during the pot parade.”
Father Gripper says that if other priests are looking to get themselves or their entire congregation “high as heaven,” Taylor will sell to anyone in Washington County.
“Taylor deals in Christian Quantities,” the clergyman stated before rattling off the former altar boy’s product details. “He sells a nug – or 1/12th of weed – and calls it an Apostle. Then a 1/4 is called a Horsemen, a 1/3 is a Trinity, 1/2 is a Solomon, one ounce is the Almighty and a whole pound is called The Holy Grail.”
Father Gripper shared that the surprise Easter smoke session is just one of many ways he’s tried to keep up with the times.
“Im hoping that this goes over much better than when Taylor convinced me ‘DTF’ meant Diggin’ the Faith and I went ahead and used it 27 times in a sermon.”
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Photo credit: Raimond Spekking