Mitch McConnell put on shell-rest after government healthcare fixes his broken shoulder

Reports say McConnell injured himself while he was aggressively fucking the country. Continue reading Mitch McConnell put on shell-rest after government healthcare fixes his broken shoulder

Most of Denver’s Population is in It’s 30th Hour of Tripping Balls Since Mushrooms Were Decriminalized

Due to the lack of legal consequences, throngs of hallucinating residents have congregated downtown at the 16th Street Mall to touch each other’s faces. Continue reading Most of Denver’s Population is in It’s 30th Hour of Tripping Balls Since Mushrooms Were Decriminalized

Lettuce Recall Helps Millions of Vegans Cut Carbon Footprint by Dying of Starvation

We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump Continue reading Lettuce Recall Helps Millions of Vegans Cut Carbon Footprint by Dying of Starvation

An iRobot Roomba 690 Robot Vacuum with Wi-Fi Connectivity has Been Running the Country since late 2017

“The first idea that it runs into is the decision that we go with.” – Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross Continue reading An iRobot Roomba 690 Robot Vacuum with Wi-Fi Connectivity has Been Running the Country since late 2017

Princeton Study: How Trump Defeated Clinton, Why the Polls Were Wrong

The polls showed a likely win for her, but the results did not reflect that; whatsoever. Now we have a fail-safe and proven reason as to why he managed to become the next President of the United States of America. Continue reading Princeton Study: How Trump Defeated Clinton, Why the Polls Were Wrong