Most of Denver’s Population is in It’s 30th Hour of Tripping Balls Since Mushrooms Were Decriminalized

With the decriminalization of magic mushrooms in Denver, Colorado most of the city’s residents are currently tripping balls.

“We estimate that around 85% of children and adults in Denver are on an adventure to middle earth, playing with a friendly rusty robot, or petting the neon whales in a park fountain,” Mayor Michael Hancock laughed while waving a hand in front of his face. “And honestly I’m fine with it as long as that giant flyswatter doesn’t come back again to take the goddamned marshmallows!”

Due to the lack of legal consequences, early reports show virtually zero paranoia among the population as throngs of hallucinating residents have congregated downtown at the 16th Street Mall to touch each other’s faces.

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Photo Credit: Alan Rockefeller

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