🥂🍻🥃🍷 I BET AT LEAST 10%-15% of the 🇺🇸 U.S. is ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL 🍾🍺🍶 THERE’S AT LEAST 7 EMOJIS FOR IT 🤣😿 😈🥬💨 It’s FAR worse than the devil’s lettuce. Nobody talks about it, yet it’s everywhere—on TV, in … Continue reading I BET AT LEAST 10%-15% of the 🇺🇸 U.S. is ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL
In a nationwide revelation that’s leaving people shocked, it has come to light that sensory deprivation chambers across the United States are harboring unidentifiable substances and even have dead bodies floating in them, as they are rarely, if ever, cleaned. … Continue reading Were You Floating With a Body?: Unclean U.S. Sensory Deprivation Tanks Reveal Missing Persons Mysteries
The first case of the coronavirus has hit the US and the Center for Disease Control has partnered with Corona Light to raise a glass and some awareness. The two organizations say the cure could be as simple as drinking … Continue reading CDC: An ice-cold, refreshing Corona Light could make you immune to the coronavirus
Teachers get ready for another underfunded school year full of ADHD and mass shootings. Continue reading Countless Students Spot Their Teachers Stocking Up On Franzia Boxed Wine & Antidepressants in Preparation for the School Year
“I saw the whole thing. Very odd, very sad.” – Senator Bernie Sanders Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Drinks Six Beers, Then Drunkenly Proposes a Warren-Sanders Presidential Ticket on Live TV
“This alcohol-infused breakfast beverage is the perfect way to start your workday or end your marriage.” Continue reading Pabst is Selling Alcoholic ‘Hard Coffee’ Because Fuck It
“It’s hard to keep the kids clean and the depression buried deep, deep down inside. Purell lets you do both.” Continue reading Soccer Moms Are Drinking Purell to Take the Edge Off This Summer
“We’re just going to burn the alcohol-laced vomit off like every year, that’s where the city gets its signature smell.” – Chicago Gov. J.B. Pritzker Continue reading Green Chicago River Full of Vomit by 10 AM
“Kavanaugh needs a liver by Christmas and the Democrats don’t give a lick!” – Senator Lindsey Graham
#Kavanaugh #FBIReport #SupremeCourt Continue reading Kavanaugh to Be Moved to Top of Liver Transplant List if Confirmed
“The last time that Tom was this upset was after the 31-0 loss to the Bills in 2003.” Continue reading ‘Months of Pegging’ Needed for Brady to Overcome Super Bowl Loss
“We estimate that he was out cold with water in his lungs for about 2 minutes.” Continue reading President Trump is Still Learning How to Drink Water
In a shocking turn of events, it seems that people are gearing up for the Fourth of July by doing the exact same type of shit that they did last year. The grills are out, the beer is somewhat cold, … Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: 4th of July Stunner
