White House denies accidentally constructing a wall around New Mexico

In a gross oversight, the Trump White House has built a border wall completely encompassing the state of New Mexico. State Governor Michelle Grisham spoke out about the new enclosure. “The border wall progress that president Trump kept touting was referring to this gigantic structure,” Governor Michelle Grisham stated. “Only an eighth of the wall actually butts up against Mexico, the rest goes all the way around the state of New Mexico.” Grisham says the wall doesn’t pose a problem as it won’t prevent people from crossing; however, she would like all of her Hispanic residents to be released from the accompanying, newly-constructed prisons. Advertisements

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Spirit Airlines Began Using Cargo Planes Over the Weekend Without Warning Passengers

YouReadyGrandma

Upon boarding planes over the weekend, customers immediately noticed that there were no seatbelts.

U.S. Treasury is Voiding the Value of the $20 Bill Due to Problems With New Harriet Tubman Twenty

YouReadyGrandma

Get rid of your twenty dollar bills before it’s too late! The U.S. Treasury Department says it will be taking the value of a $20 bill down to zero.

Betsy DeVos Removes ‘Appreciation’ From National Teacher Appreciation Day

YouReadyGrandma

“At this point teachers must be making, what? $125 thousand a year and they won’t stop complaining?” DeVos stated. “We have to push back against these union thugs who are always striking.”

Kanye West Was Selling Damaged Condoms at Coachella for $125

YouReadyGrandma

“Someone from that festival will be having an unwanted child that babbles bullshit for years; so when that happens, I highly recommend they name it Kanye.”

Disgusting Lactose Intolerant People Emit the Same Amount of Methane as Dairy Cows

YouReadyGrandma

“I can tell you how the world ends right now. We fart ourselves to death.” – Stanford Professor Böse Blahung

Eric Trump is Currently Locked in a Room That’s Being Pumped Full of Pollution

YouReadyGrandma

Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans.

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