Shortly after famous signer-songwriter Elton John announced his departure from Twitter, Elon Musk said he wrote a “new, personal, and introspective version” of the musician’s hit song ‘Rocket Man’ as sung from Elon’s perspective. Here are the lyrics and accompanying … Continue reading Elon Musk Writes New Version of Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’ After Iconic Musician Leaves Twitter
An anonymous informant from inside the FBI leaked to reporters today that authorities are still trying to learn what’s on Hunter Biden’s laptop. Apparently, the device is driving agents crazy because it plays the same song when powered on and … Continue reading Inside Source: Hunter Biden’s Defective Laptop Keeps Playing ‘Someone Like You’ – Most Likely Because It’s A Dell
Blink-182 announced today that they’ve reunited and will be going on a world tour. The surprising decision to regroup comes after a musically talented alien took over Tom DeLonge’s body before contacting former bandmates Travis Barker and Mark Hoppus. Barker … Continue reading Blink-182 Reunites After Tom DeLonge’s Body Is Taken Over By A Musically Talented Alien
Former NFL superstar OJ Simpson and singer-songwriter Chris Brown both spoke out in defense of Kanye West today. The two celebrities say that Kanye is being treated very unfairly. “Just because you repeatedly harass someone over and over again, or … Continue reading OJ Simpson & Chris Brown Say They ‘See No Warning Signs’ With Kanye West’s Recent Behavior
Kanye West revealed today that his upcoming album Donda 2 will be released in an all-new file format that Ye says he himself invented. “It’s called ‘.K-I-M’ and you spell it out when you say it,” Kanye stated. “Don’t call … Continue reading Donda 2 Will Be In New File Format ‘.KIM’ That Can Only Be Read By Kanye’s Stem Device
Joe Rogan took a very brief break from spreading coronavirus disinformation on his podcast yesterday in order hold a 5-minute “segment on free speech” just so he could say the n-word for his 25th time on air. “I practice a … Continue reading Joe Rogan Uses ‘Free Speech’ Segment To Celebrate Saying The ‘N-Word’ For His 25th Time On Air
A petition circling the internet demanding that Joe Rogan “fix” his nipples has now racked up over 3.5 million signatures in just hours. The petition was drafted this morning after photos of the business man and entertainer’s disturbing nipples began … Continue reading New Petition To Fix Joe Rogan’s Nipples Quickly Surpasses Calls to Remove Him From Spotify
Singer, songwriter, and rapper Kid Rock is seeing a shocking resurgence in popularity that’s launched him back into the spotlight for the first time in 15 years. Rock, who is now 51 years old, says he had no idea that … Continue reading A Total Resurgence In Kid Rock’s Popularity Has Him Performing At State Fairs Again
Boosie Badazz has been completely obsessed with fellow rapper Lil Nas X ever since the young star gained fame with his hit songs ‘Old Town Road’ and ‘MONTERO,’ but last night Boosie took it a step too far. Lil Nas … Continue reading Boosie Served Restraining Order After Showing Up To Lil Nas X home With A Boombox
Sorry libtards, but just because I’m fully-clothed, crying and eating Goya beans on the shower floor doesn’t mean that I’m a little, snowflake bitch like you. It means I’m a patriot who knows what’s really going on! Us Trump supporters … Continue reading Opinion: I’m Not a Snowflake, I’m Just Fully-Clothed, Crying & Eating Goya Beans On The Shower Floor
Proving that Taylor Swift fans will buy anything she puts out, the singer’s newest album – which is comprised of just her farting – went platinum in only 10 minutes. Titled ‘Squeak Now,’ Swift’s latest album features farting that lasts … Continue reading Taylor Swift’s New Album of Only Fart Noises Goes Platinum in Just 10 Minutes
(Des Plaines, Illinois) Friends and family of local man Kyle Whitmore, who proudly declares himself a heavy metal and country music lover, say he’s a train wreck who is not to be trusted. Friends describe Whitmore and his playlists as … Continue reading Guy Who Loves Both Heavy Metal & Country Music Not to Be Trusted
Chase Rice concert-goers were given the rare chance to be literal diehard fans over the weekend as the popular country singer decided to play a crowded show in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Seconds into the start of the … Continue reading Chase Rice Fans Reassured That Bleeding From the Ears is Not a Symptom of COVID-19
With most major music events having been cancelled worldwide, and new music videos being postponed, the music industry is now defending itself for letting more than 115,000 non-essential twerkers go this week. “Although the industry itself will likely never die, … Continue reading Struggling Music Industry Defends Firing of Non-Essential Twerkers
Countless cities across Italy have taken to playing Nickelback in the streets to discourage their citizens from going outdoors. So far authorities say the drastic move has brought positive results. “We’re seeing folks staying home,” Italian President Sergio Mattarella stated. … Continue reading Italian Cities Are Playing Nickelback in the Streets to Deter Citizens From Going Outside
Completely oblivious of the Coronavirus, Canadian rock band Nickelback has continued the United States leg of their “All the Right Reasons” world tour as the typical crowd size of seven people hasn’t dwindled since the outbreak began. Public health officials … Continue reading Unaware of Coronavirus, Nickelback Continues Tour of Playing to Empty Stadiums
American rapper, singer, and songwriter Kanye West released his latest album titled Pensive today. The 3 hour and 12 minute album consists of 17 tracks of varying lengths which contain nothing but silence. Notably, the album sells for $199.99 and … Continue reading Kanye West drops 3 hour album of nothing but silence
