Going strong in her 86th year, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg spent her Wednesday morning at Fatty’s Tattoos and Piercings on Connecticut Avenue in D.C. getting her 9th tattoo which reads “JUDG LYFE” across her knuckles. Ginsburg, who is very active in the local skate community, has also been recognized for her amazing skating skills and her affinity for smoking cannabis in recent news. Advertisements
NASA is in hot water again today after providing female astronauts with high heels for the first all-female spacewalk outside of the International Space Station. After not having enough spacesuits for women for a canceled mission earlier this year, NASA is now facing criticism for blatant sexism from several women’s rights groups. To make matters worse, the astronauts caused damage to the exterior of the space station when a Christian Louboutin heel shattered a $1.7 million solar panel and punctured a backup pressure valve. As a gesture of good faith, NASA says they’re sending up rolls of quarters for the women to use in the feminine hygiene dispensers.
With a seemingly continuous turnover of advisors in the past three years, president Trump now finds himself being advised by six different handbag designers, including his daughter Ivanka. The White House maintains that only a small percentage of meetings are spent discussing the fashion accessories. “Ivanka doesn’t talk about her fashion business with me,” Trump affirmed. “There’s no nepotism here and it really shows. Just look at me,” a dishevelled Trump stated while unzipping his 5-foot-long red tie from his fly. Additionally, the White House says they’re excited to unveil their new child and adult-sized leather body bags which were specially designed for the Kurds Trump left for dead in Syria.
“I never thought I’d have to say this, but my boobs are down there.”
Scientists at NASA were stunned today when the Curiosity rover came across a toy doll while it was exploring Mars’ Gale Crater. Experts have no explanation for how the strange doll got there.
After 17 years of selling oversized, rotisserie rats, Costco has announced that they will no longer offer the popular rodent; citing yearly losses of over $30 million from the unsustainably low prices.
Mental health organizations across the world are using World Mental Health Day to remind men to keep their problems to themselves. “Real men never share their feelings, so it’s important that you catch yourself if you accidentally begin to open up.” psychiatrist Brian Tomlinson stated. “Bottle it up and bury it deep down inside; then, and this is important, go ahead and never talk about it again. What other people think about you is far more important than being happy.” Photo credit: thoroughlyreviewed.com