Most of Country Keeping Flags at Half-Staff to Save on Labor Costs

YouReadyGrandma

“With the amount of mass shootings we’re having, it’s not unreasonable to expect savings of around $4,500 a year.”

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Meteorologists are predicting there won’t be any weather this coming weekend

YouReadyGrandma

“Except for in Hawaii, Alaska and the penis-tip part of Florida – where it will be very wet – Americans should prepare themselves for absolutely nothing.”

The US government is trying to decide between nuking San Francisco or outer space

YouReadyGrandma

“First and foremost, we must blow up the nukes to make sure that no one gets their hands on them.” – President Trump

Elizabeth Warren Says She Keeps a Beer Keg as a Pet in Her Massachusetts Home

YouReadyGrandma

Warren says the two are inseparable.

Countless Students Spot Their Teachers Stocking Up On Franzia Boxed Wine & Antidepressants in Preparation for the School Year

YouReadyGrandma

Teachers get ready for another underfunded school year full of ADHD and mass shootings.

Millennials Celebrate National Avocado Day by Sucking On Pits & Skins From Dumpsters

YouReadyGrandma

Notably, avocado pits are the perfect choking hazard for anyone that’s tired of living with their parents.

Elizabeth Warren Drinks Six Beers, Then Drunkenly Proposes a Warren-Sanders Presidential Ticket on Live TV

YouReadyGrandma

“I saw the whole thing. Very odd, very sad.” – Senator Bernie Sanders