UnitedHealth & NRA Partner with Retailers to Offer Incredible Discounts for Gun Buyers Who ‘Look Ready to Snap’

In a bold move to address escalating tensions between Americans and the healthcare industry, UnitedHealth Group has announced a groundbreaking partnership with gun retailers and the National Rifle Association (NRA). The initiative offers steep discounts on premiums and bills to gun owners, … Continue reading UnitedHealth & NRA Partner with Retailers to Offer Incredible Discounts for Gun Buyers Who ‘Look Ready to Snap’

Life Insurance Companies Drop Coverage for All Billionaires & Ultra Wealthy Due to “High Risk Choices”

In a shocking move that has sent waves through yacht clubs and boardrooms alike, life insurance companies nationwide have begun dropping billionaires and multi-millionaires from their policies, citing them as “too high risk.” The unprecedented decision comes on the heels … Continue reading Life Insurance Companies Drop Coverage for All Billionaires & Ultra Wealthy Due to “High Risk Choices”

Nintendo’s New ‘Dr. Mario vs. Big Pharma’ Lets You Drop Giant Pills Directly on Yacht-Owning Executives

REDMOND, WA—Nintendo has announced their boldest game yet: Dr. Mario vs. Big Pharma, a high-octane spinoff where everyone’s favorite mustachioed plumber-turned-physician finally takes aim at the real villains—yacht-owning healthcare executives. In this groundbreaking addition to the franchise, players will guide Mario … Continue reading Nintendo’s New ‘Dr. Mario vs. Big Pharma’ Lets You Drop Giant Pills Directly on Yacht-Owning Executives

Enough Republican students have been shot in schools to change gun laws

After yet another mass shooting today, 73% of Republican parents in America now support background and mental health checks for gun ownership. “It took awhile, but we’ve reached a tipping point,” registered Republican Donna Davis admitted. “Until it happens to … Continue reading Enough Republican students have been shot in schools to change gun laws

Tired of nonstop mass shootings? Dive-in and take cover at Red Lobster for Endless Shrimp

Bring your kids in during the school day for some savory seafood as we assault your senses with garlic shrimp scampi, crunchy fiesta shrimp or sesame-ginger grilled shrimp. Continue reading Tired of nonstop mass shootings? Dive-in and take cover at Red Lobster for Endless Shrimp

A Furious, Confused Sarah Palin Lashes Out at Black Lives Matter

“Obviously black people love sports, and that’s why their babies are born during the basketball season, and football, and for those Kenyan blacks – the spring track season,” said Palin. Continue reading A Furious, Confused Sarah Palin Lashes Out at Black Lives Matter