“Unless Redbox starts squeezing out moist, two-year-old prosciutto with every DVD, I have no idea how they’re going to compete with this.” Continue reading Weird Tech: Watch the Life Story of Animals as You Eat Them
“It’s sad to think how much we could have achieved if we hadn’t installed so much BDSM programming.” Continue reading Mars Rover Found Dead From Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation
The 1,750 calorie meal has made its return for the month of February only. Continue reading McDonald’s is Giving Away Red Heart Disease Awareness T-Shirts With Purchase of Grand Big Mac Meal
We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump Continue reading Lettuce Recall Helps Millions of Vegans Cut Carbon Footprint by Dying of Starvation
“It’s crazy to say it, but you almost wish they weren’t dead.” Continue reading National Association of Funeral Directors Says Photos of Dead are ‘On Fleek’
The movie reaches its tipping point when Damon’s children begin to ask why their favorite pig ‘Oinkers’ has gone missing. Continue reading Controversial ‘We Ate a Zoo’ Sequel Coming to Theaters This Fall
A handheld digital pet hailing from Japan, the Tamagotchi was a needy electronic animal that… Continue reading Deadliest Toys From The 90’s
The North Korean leader then flipped open a glass-encased red button, pressed it, and was immediately torn apart – along with the rest of his country – by a faulty nuclear missile. Continue reading North Korea Accidentally Nukes Itself
Obama backtracks on promise to spare the lives of innocent turkeys named Tater and Tot – ruining a longstanding American tradition. Continue reading Lying Obummers Slays Pardoned Turkeys
***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a … Continue reading Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign
SeaWorld in San Antonio, Texas is refusing to properly dispose of the corpse of the recently deceased, 18-year-old orca named Unna. Instead, the park has opted to continue using the lifeless animal to continue bringing in crowds and doing shows.
With PETA in an uproar and petitions circling the Internet… Continue reading SeaWorld Refusing to Free Dead Whale
Thank you for reading my latest informative news article. Check out more stories below – or like my Facebook Page to get the latest. Continue reading Widowed Grandmother Could Give “Two Shits” About “20-Something Year Old” Grandson’s “Feeling Lonely on Valentine’s Day” Facebook Status
