Vice President Mike Pence modeled the new version of the United States Space Force uniform for photographers today after the administration was deeply criticized for using camouflage uniforms for outer space missions. “These lightweight, durable, […]
In a narrow 151-139 vote, Iranian Parliament voted today to allow women to star in pornography. Up until today, women had been barred from appearing in any adult films or printed magazines. “No longer will […]
“This lengthy, intricate study was conducted by the folks at the Harvard Center for Brain Science and incorporated proven Penis Responsiveness Technology (PRT) and Brainwave Function Reading (BFR) from leading scientists from the Biomimetic Robotics Lab at MIT.”
Many men have started calling unsolicited photos of their penises “surprise gender reveal parties” What do you think?
“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated.
“The only sexual contact permitted in China for the foreseeable future will be homosexual in nature,” President Jinping stated while intertwining his fingers with NBA star Yao Ming.
“Most of the leathery, ball-related action on the field actually takes place in the players’ jockstraps,” Commissioner Rob Manfred stated.