Men across the globe are abandoning meat overnight after a groundbreaking Harvard University study revealed that a healthy, plant-based diet is directly linked to increased blood flow, penis size, and harder erections. The study found that 89% of men who … Continue reading BREAKING: Most Men Worldwide Convert to Veganism After Study Shows Diet Increases Penis Size
Vice President Mike Pence modeled the new version of the United States Space Force uniform for photographers today after the administration was deeply criticized for using camouflage uniforms for outer space missions. “These lightweight, durable, leather harness uniforms are sleek … Continue reading Mike Pence unveils updated, leather Space Force uniforms after mockery over camouflage design
In a narrow 151-139 vote, Iranian Parliament voted today to allow women to star in pornography. Up until today, women had been barred from appearing in any adult films or printed magazines. “No longer will we have to dress young … Continue reading Historic: Iran votes to allow women in pornography
Many men have started calling unsolicited photos of their penises “surprise gender reveal parties” What do you think? Continue reading Is sending a dick pic the same thing as a gender reveal party?
“Remember, we’re only talking about girth. So if you wanted to tape 7 oversized grapefruits together and play hide the citrus in your [expletive], you could absolutely do that.” Secretary Alex Azar stated. Continue reading US Dept. Of Health: ‘Never Stick Anything Larger than a Grapefruit Up Your Butt’
“The only sexual contact permitted in China for the foreseeable future will be homosexual in nature,” President Jinping stated while intertwining his fingers with NBA star Yao Ming. Continue reading China Bans Heterosexual Sex Over Population Concerns
“Most of the leathery, ball-related action on the field actually takes place in the players’ jockstraps,” Commissioner Rob Manfred stated. Continue reading MLB Highlights “The Raw Sexual Tension of Baseball” on Opening Day
A poll of 565 men has found that 82% did not believe mutual masturbation to be a homosexual act, with respondents expressing a sentiment that touching cock isn’t gay, but lips touching lips is gay – meaning that emotional intimacy … Continue reading 4 in 5 Men Think Masturbating With Another Man ‘Isn’t Gay’
“It’s not like we’re asking them to carry our purses up there – although that would be ideal and hopefully it leads to that.” Continue reading Guys: Here’s Why You Should Let Her Put Stuff in Your Booty
Female researches have remained cold and distant, uninterested in helping to solve this growing problem. Continue reading Most American Males have Larger Boobs Than Their Wives
“This lengthy, intricate study was conducted by the folks at the Harvard Center for Brain Science and incorporated proven Penis Responsiveness Technology (PRT) and Brainwave Function Reading (BFR) from leading scientists from the Biomimetic Robotics Lab at MIT.” Continue reading Harvard Study Reveals that All Homophobic Men are Gay
