Jailed business man and entertainer Joe Exotic of “Tiger King” fame is set to be executed and buried behind the jail he has been incarcerated in next week. The decision to kill him was issued by a federal judge during … Continue reading Aging Joe Exotic To Be Put Down & Buried Behind Jail To Make Room For Younger, Healthier Inmates
A restraining order was handed down to NASA on Tuesday after one of their spacecrafts was seen lurking near the Sun before it penetrated the massive ball of fire; touching it right on the atmosphere. Here’s what people are saying: Continue reading NASA Slapped With A Restraining Order After Probing The Sun’s Atmosphere
Bill Cosby is now a free man after it was announced that a Pennsylvania judge had overturned his conviction this week. Once word had spread, the news completely destroyed what little bit of faith Americans had just begun to feel … Continue reading Bill Cosby’s Release Completely Restores Nation’s Lack Of Faith In Justice System
Representative Matt Gaetz (R-FL) was ticketed for the fourth time yesterday by Fort Walton Beach Police for repeatedly driving back and forth in front of a high school at 10 to 15 miles per hour below the speed limit. Authorities … Continue reading Matt Gaetz Ticketed Again For Driving Too Slowly In School Zone
After realizing that his Republican colleagues were not going to do anything to stop him, a nervous Matt Gaetz worked up the courage today to send a $900 Venmo payment to his longtime friend and fellow alleged sexual predator Joel … Continue reading ‘Just One More & Then I’ll Stop’ Sweaty Matt Gaetz Whispers To Himself Before Pressing Pay On Venmo
When asked today how he felt about the Trumps not following tradition and inviting his family to the White House, Joe Biden told reporters that he wasn’t bothered by it at all. “It’s no skin off my nose! We all … Continue reading Biden Says He’ll ‘Still Visit Trump In Prison’ Despite No White House Invite
President Trump signed an executive order today that pardoned himself for “any and all crimes in the past, present, or future” – ensuring that even if he loses the election that he will still have absolute immunity for the rest … Continue reading Trump Signs Executive Order Pre-Pardoning Himself of Any Crimes
After demanding that the whistleblower be revealed at a Trump rally last night, Senator Rand Paul was met at the front door of his Bowling Green home by fellow libertarian and neighbor Tim Dunleavy who immediately began kicking the ever-living … Continue reading Rand Paul’s neighbor beats his ass again
In a sweeping move, president Trump signed an executive order today that pardons Republicans of any and all crimes. The order, which also releases any registered Republicans who are incarcerated, completely exonerates any future wrongdoings by right-wing public figures and … Continue reading Impeachment probe ends as Trump preemptively pardons all Republicans
Hours after an incriminating interview with CNN’s Chris Cuomo, Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani came sprinting back on set shouting something about Ukraine; interrupting a live broadcast by anchor Brooke Baldwin. Fuming mad, Giuliani began flailing around and screeching before tearing … Continue reading Completely unhinged, Rudy Giuliani strips naked on live TV during an incoherent rant
“Holy hell! C’mon people. Do I need to spell it out for you!?” – Robert Mueller Continue reading Annoyed Robert Mueller Snaps: “Oh My God, Just Impeach the Bastard Already!”
“The children’s entertainment and pizza chain explicitly stated that Vice President Mike Pence will not be allowed inside after his furry tail butt plug incident months back.” Continue reading Mike Pence, Other Furries Banned From All Chuck E. Cheese’s
Authorities are calling Chris Brown’s new album Indigo “32 tracks of incriminating evidence” which relate to 14 new assualt allegations against the artist. Continue reading Chris Brown Recorded Real Domestic Violence to Create Percussion Tracks on New Album
The former FBI Director enrolled in a pottery class Anderson Cooper attends in an attempt to get him to sit in between his legs while whispering key findings in his ear. Continue reading Trapped & Furious: Dead Robert Mueller Can’t Cross Over to Spirit Realm Until Barr Releases Full Report
Pope Francis’ adult book is entitled ‘The Divinci Load.’ Continue reading Pope Francis Demands Every Dirty Detail on Sexual Abuse for His Adult Fantasy Novel
Trump said that the new complex would be “an experiment representing a new approach for overhauling the prison system and has nothing to do with Michael Cohen’s testimony.” Continue reading Trump is Building a ‘Golden, Mansion-Style Prison’
“I permanently cut cheese out of my diet,” police officer Damien Stephens stated. “If you’ve never seen a ‘Kraft Singles Cheese Queef Shower,’ I recommend that you keep it that way.” Continue reading Patriots Owner Caught in Massive Cheese-Fetish Pornography Ring
