In a knee-jerk reaction to losing Wisconsin to Trump in 2016, Democrats are doing an about-face for 2020.
“We’re planning to infiltrate Wisconsin from now until election day,” Democratic National Committee CEO Seema Nanda stated. “We’re not going to make the same mistake as last election.”
Today’s declaration came as the party announced that the Democratic National Convention would be held in Milwaukee; instead of Miami or Houston – which was apparently a tough call to make.
“Jimmy Carter won Texas in 1976, so that made Houston a solid option,” Nanda stated. “But, then Florida is so reliable with its election process and down-to-earth citizens.”
“In the end we chose Milwaukee for the convention. We then decided to go one step further by invading and entrenching ourselves in the state because we have no idea what we’re doing.”
It was also announced that the party’s presidential candidates will only be allowed to campaign within the state’s borders; a move that caused Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers to issue a warning to citizens.
“Wisconsinites should brace themselves for about 700 campaign rallies in the next 603 days,” Evers stated.
As of press time, the DNC had not decided if they were going to allow a truly democratic primary election process this cycle, or just stick to a rigged system.
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