subway tuna is people

‘Our Tuna Is Definitely Not Shredded-Up People’ Suspicious, Overly-Specific Subway Statement Reads

Refusing to say exactly what’s in their tuna, Subway released an odd, rambling statement today in which the company attempted to reassure the public that their fishy product is not made from people. “The tuna is definitely not shredded-up people,” … Continue reading ‘Our Tuna Is Definitely Not Shredded-Up People’ Suspicious, Overly-Specific Subway Statement Reads

Smash Mouth False Flag COVID 100 Cases

False Flag: Media Claims 100+ People Willingly Attended a Smash Mouth Concert & Got COVID

The band Smash Mouth is being blamed for more than 100 COVID-19 cases after they performed at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in South Dakota on August 9th. Despite social distancing and mask wearing not being enforced at the event, truth … Continue reading False Flag: Media Claims 100+ People Willingly Attended a Smash Mouth Concert & Got COVID

Conservative Waiting Until Bad Thing Impacts Him Before Caring About Issue

Conservative Christian Michael Dobbins of San Diego, California says he made the conscious decision years ago not to care about any political issues that don’t impact him or his closest family members until he absolutely has to. Dobbins says that … Continue reading Conservative Waiting Until Bad Thing Impacts Him Before Caring About Issue

A tribe of 8-foot tall Amazonian Women who fled rainforest fires are terrifying Brazilians

A tribe of at least 1,200 gigantic Amazonian women has fled into Brazil’s cities in order to escape unbelievably massive rainforest fires that have been burning for three weeks. The invasion of oversized woman left most Brazilians shocked, intrigued or … Continue reading A tribe of 8-foot tall Amazonian Women who fled rainforest fires are terrifying Brazilians

Disgusting Lactose Intolerant People Emit the Same Amount of Methane as Dairy Cows

“I can tell you how the world ends right now. We fart ourselves to death.” – Stanford Professor Böse Blahung Continue reading Disgusting Lactose Intolerant People Emit the Same Amount of Methane as Dairy Cows

Leaked! White House Security Briefing Shows Insanity in Trump Administration

“It’s convoluted as [expletive]!” Senator Bernie Sanders stated. “The document obsesses over mechanical pencils and references outdated world news without context, but oddly enough everything ‘Trump’ now makes sense.” Continue reading Leaked! White House Security Briefing Shows Insanity in Trump Administration

Harvard Study Reveals that All Homophobic Men are Gay

“This lengthy, intricate study was conducted by the folks at the Harvard Center for Brain Science and incorporated proven Penis Responsiveness Technology (PRT) and Brainwave Function Reading (BFR) from leading scientists from the Biomimetic Robotics Lab at MIT.” Continue reading Harvard Study Reveals that All Homophobic Men are Gay