A tribe of 8-foot tall Amazonian Women who fled rainforest fires are terrifying Brazilians

YouReadyGrandma

A tribe of at least 1,200 gigantic Amazonian women has fled into Brazil’s cities in order to escape unbelievably massive rainforest fires that have been burning for three weeks. The invasion of oversized woman left most Brazilians shocked, intrigued or aroused. Many of the towering women, who are all at least 8-feet tall, have already signed lucrative WNBA and modeling contracts. “It’s great that these women have integrated into our society so quickly because we have no plans to stop this fire,” Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro stated. The Amazon, which provides 20% of the planet’s oxygen, will likely burn up completely in the coming weeks. Advertisements

Advertisements

Soccer Moms Are Drinking Purell to Take the Edge Off This Summer

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s hard to keep the kids clean and the depression buried deep, deep down inside. Purell lets you do both.”

‘Food Smellers’ Need to Stop Weirding-Out Normal Eaters

YouReadyGrandma

“People who have to smell their food before eating it are complete monsters.”

What Happens to the 19 Dead Horses After the Kentucky Derby?

YouReadyGrandma

“We sell the meat to Taco Bell, send a bunch of parts to candy factories and use the rest to make high-end huffing glue.”

Disgusting Lactose Intolerant People Emit the Same Amount of Methane as Dairy Cows

YouReadyGrandma

“I can tell you how the world ends right now. We fart ourselves to death.” – Stanford Professor Böse Blahung

Walmart Implants Elderly Greeters With Robotic Parts

YouReadyGrandma

“The geriatric cyborgs have two convenient USB ports allowing customers to charge their phones,” Walmart CEO Doug McMillon stated.

Leaked! White House Security Briefing Shows Insanity in Trump Administration

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s convoluted as [expletive]!” Senator Bernie Sanders stated. “The document obsesses over mechanical pencils and references outdated world news without context, but oddly enough everything ‘Trump’ now makes sense.”

%d bloggers like this: