Famous murder trial defendants Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony and OJ Simpson have joined forces in a new fundraising initiative called The Media Accountability Project. Rittenhouse says the money raised will help take certain media outlets and individuals to court to … Continue reading Kyle Rittenhouse, Casey Anthony & OJ Simpson Raising Money To Sue Media For Defamation
Sources have confirmed that Justice Bruce Schroeder, who is inattentively presiding over the Kyle Rittenhouse homicide trial, is currently residing in Parkside Manor Assisted Living in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Justice Schroeder has been getting FBI escorts to and from the nursing … Continue reading Judge In Kyle Rittenhouse Trial Gets FBI Escort To & From Nursing Home Every Day
The long-running, popular American TV game show Wheel of Fortune has updated its iconic wheel by replacing the ‘Bankruptcy’ slot with ‘DEATH.’ Due to the changes, players will now have a 1 in 24 chance of being executed by host … Continue reading Wheel Of Fortune Adds ‘Death Slot’ After Seeing Success Of Squid Game
According to his wife and several sources close to him, Ted Cruz went missing today right after news broke that the Zodiac Killer’s cypher was cracked. Authorities say that they found Cruz’s shitty beard hair shaved off in a bathroom … Continue reading Ted Cruz Vanishes After Zodiac Killer Cypher Cracked
President Trump took questions regarding Kenosha shooter Kyle Rittenhouse from the press today while in Lake Charles, Louisiana as he was assessing the damage from Category 4 Hurricane Laura. Many are calling what the president said absurd, while others say … Continue reading Trump Says Kyle Rittenhouse’s Only Error Was Not Becoming a Cop First
The corpse of deceased convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein was found hanging in a tree outside of his mausoleum in Loxahatchee, Florida this morning. Authorities investigating the incident say that two night watchmen on duty last night failed to make … Continue reading Epstein digs up and hangs himself again after cemetery night watchmen forget to monitor his burial site
57-year-old death row inmate and serial killer Kyle Perklans was forcibly removed from the Louisiana State Penitentiary today after refusing to follow the institution’s mask guidelines. Perklans, who was scheduled to die from lethal injection on Saturday night, is now … Continue reading Death Row Inmate Kicked Out of Prison For Refusing to Wear a Mask
Confident that he’d like to murder at least one person, 17-year-old Thomas Wilkins of Genesee, Wisconsin says he’s torn between becoming a serial killer or a police officer. “Next year I’ll be 18, which means I’ll be old enough to … Continue reading Future Murderer Torn Between Becoming a Serial Killer or a Police Officer
After binge watching all seven episodes of Tiger King yesterday on Netflix, president Trump has quickly become the biggest supporter of the imprisoned celebrity Joe Exotic, speaking out about the jailed man’s innocence. “Minus most of the gay stuff, we’re … Continue reading Trump Strongly Considering Pardoning ‘Tiger King’ Joe Exotic
An official Medical Examiner report says that Jeffrey Epstein was strangled to death by a fellow inmate during incredibly hot, consensual erotic asphyxiation. “Although the two inmates did have a safe word, Epstein was unable to say it,” the report … Continue reading Medical Examiner rules Epstein’s death caused by asphyxiation during hot, gay prison sex
Japan will resume the commercial killing of overweight citizens in an effort to curb the population of the island and supplement dwindling soybean supplies. Continue reading Japan Resumes Hunting of Overweight Citizens After 30-Year Ban
“We wanted to name it something to do with the color blue, because the ocean is blue, even from space. In the end we settled on Whale Force and I think that’s just fine.” Continue reading US Announces ‘Whale Force’ Military Division
This was a direct response to outcry from PETA regarding changes in Alaskan hunting regulations which would… Continue reading President Trump Has Strangled a Bear Cub to Death on the North Lawn
Obama suggests Trump could have avoided many scandals with one trick. Continue reading Obama: “I Don’t Know Why Donald Paid All of These Women – I Had Mine Killed.”
The movie reaches its tipping point when Damon’s children begin to ask why their favorite pig ‘Oinkers’ has gone missing. Continue reading Controversial ‘We Ate a Zoo’ Sequel Coming to Theaters This Fall
Our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who wants to purchase more military-grade weapons. Continue reading The ‘Too Soon’ Gun Campaign Asks Domestic Terrorists to “Tone it Down”
