On the same day that Larry King divorced his 7th wife, the new bachelor immediately signed the paperwork to marry and then divorce each of his three mistresses. King’s lawyer said that the TV host wanted “a fresh start and clean break before he starts looking for lucky number 11.” Photo Credit Gage Skidmore Advertisements
“Eggland’s Best apologizes if we’ve torn apart any families because of our gay eggs.”
“Watch for the return of Toys “R” Trump, chains of Trumpback Steakhouse, Trumpley-Donaldson motorcycles and Old Trumpy Buffet.” – Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Trump is trying to rectify the situation by sending Civil War participation trophies to his seething supporters.
Mass graves are filling up outside of the Ford Truck Plant in Dearborn, MI.
We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump
Scott Walker will now have to flush his system of illegal substances in order to qualify for unemployment assistance.